Trauma. A child who is violated by any person, particularly a person of trust, may look at the world as unsafe and view themselves as undeserving of good things in life, leading to self-sabotage.
Self-sabotaging behavior is rooted in unhealthy core beliefs about ourselves and faulty narratives we tell ourselves. We are the product of all of our previous experiences, for better or for worse.
It often stems from low self-esteem, negative self-talk, and related negative emotions, which are continually reinforced by the resulting failure. You can beat self-sabotage by monitoring your behaviors, feelings, thoughts, and beliefs about yourself, and challenging them when they stand between you and your goals.
Unresolved developmental trauma too often leads to a negative sense of self.
In many cases, self-destructive behavior is rooted in anxiety. Our anxious behaviors can cause us to avoid doing what we need to do to reach our goals. In this case, we're not avoiding the goal: just the perceived negative consequences of it. That includes the negative emotions we associate with it.
People with PTSD may be more likely to engage in self-injurious behaviors, such as cutting or burning themselves, as a way of managing intense and unpleasant emotions. 2 Before you can stop engaging in self-injurious behavior, it's important to first learn why it might have developed.
Borderline Personality Disorder Defined
It is now universally recognized by mental health professionals as a debilitating illness that affects every aspect of a person's life. Borderline personality disorder causes a broad range of reactions that can be considered self-destructive or self-sabotaging.
Self-sabotage often serves as a coping mechanism that people use to deal with stressful situations and past traumas. Unfortunately, it typically makes problems worse and limits a person's ability to successfully move forward in a healthy way.
Self-destructive behavior is when a person causes physical or emotional harm to themselves. Traumatic experiences or mental health conditions may increase the risk of these behaviors. People who have experienced trauma may self-harm, but not every person who self-harms may have experienced trauma.
Children who have experienced complex trauma often have difficulty identifying, expressing, and managing emotions, and may have limited language for feeling states. They often internalize and/or externalize stress reactions and as a result may experience significant depression, anxiety, or anger.
Self-sabotaging behaviors are usually driven by fear, which can give rise to toxic perfectionism or habitual procrastination. This drives anxiety and leads people to think in terms of what-ifs and worst-case scenarios.
While self-sabotaging is definitely an unhealthy behavior, you can rest: it's very common and very normal. Best of all: the behavior can be stopped! Challenge your way of thinking and your behaviors while remembering to be kind to yourself. Instead of being your own worst enemy, why not be your own best friend?
Repetition compulsion, or trauma reenactment, may occur due to various painful experiences early in life, such as physical, sexual, or emotional abuse. An inability to resolve or integrate the past trauma can result in the person reliving the circumstances.
Blaming one's self is a common response to having a traumatic experience. This is especially true even when the traumatic event occurs through no fault of our own -we didn't ask for it, we didn't want it and we certainly weren't okay with it happening.
If we suffer the traumas of abuse, early social rejection, social isolation, or bullying, our capacity to engage in interdependence with a sense of safety and wholeness can be damaged. Disconnected and broken, we slip into self-centeredness.
The effects of exposure to trauma in childhood have repeatedly been linked to the development of maladaptive personality traits and personality disorders [1,2,3,4]. In contrast, much less is known about personality related problems that may arise in adulthood.
Adults who have experienced childhood trauma usually have heightened levels of anxiety. They may worry excessively and have trouble managing their anxiety. It can lead to persistent feelings of sadness, lack of interest in activities, and difficulty experiencing pleasure.
In the most severe cases, the cause of low self-esteem can be childhood trauma such as sexual or physical abuse, disasters, severe illness or bereavement. All of these experiences send a message to the child that the world around them is not safe. Nothing can be trusted.
Someone with a fearful avoidant attachment may self-sabotage a good romantic relationship because they are afraid and feel unsafe. They tend to hyperfocus on things that can go wrong in the relationship, even if there is nothing to worry about.
These self-sabotaging behaviours can become the norm for people who struggle with Mental Health, but they can be more extreme and more damaging. Self-sabotaging has been a part of my life with depression for as long as I can remember.
Self-sabotage happens when our logical conscious mind gets in conflict with our subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is known as the anti-self, that critical inner voice, that holds us back and undermines our efforts and best intentions (4). Self-sabotage is any action that gets in the way of achieving your goals.
Borderline personality disorder is one of the most painful mental illnesses since individuals struggling with this disorder are constantly trying to cope with volatile and overwhelming emotions.
Impulsive, self-destructive behavior may be an attempt to ward off rising anxiety related to the fear of being left alone. The flip side of the fear is the hope that a relationship will be completely soothing.
When people with ADHD are activated, they are often plagued by self-sabotaging, negative internal talk that prevents them from believing they can do things. It can be conscious or unconscious and can keep folks from setting, working towards, and reaching goals. It holds them back from doing what they want to do.