People with BPD may move quickly from feelings of idealization to devaluation regarding their partner and are more likely to terminate relationships than people without BPD. If you are dating someone with BPD, you may find it easy to blame yourself for your partner's erratic actions and symptoms.
Dating someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be difficult at times, but it doesn't have to be something that harms your relationship. BPD symptoms can include complex and unhealthy thought processes, anxiety, poor self-image, and dramatic mood swings.
If you do decide to date (or continue dating) someone who has borderline personality disorder, keep in mind that if they're not in remission, their behaviors can create an unhealthy environment for not only you but also your children.
With treatment and continual support from family and partners, people with BPD can have successful relationships.
BPD splitting destroys relationships because the behaviour can be impulsive or reckless in order to alleviate the pain, often hurting loved ones in the process. It can feel like everyone abandons or hurts them, often causing them to look for evidence, and creating problems from nothing.
People with BPD may be sensitive to rejection and abandonment and are prone to splitting, rage, and impulsivity. If a person with BPD feels rejected or abandoned, they may end the relationship. However, this is usually followed by significant anxiety and regret and efforts to get back together.
Often, the person with BPD will react towards loved ones as if they were the abusers from their past, and take out vengeance and anger towards them. When the person with BPD feels abandoned, they can become abusive or controlling as a way to defend against feelings of abandonment or feeling unworthy.
Borderline/dependent: A person with borderline personality disorder (BPD) is well-matched with a person who has a dependent personality disorder (DPD). The BPD has an intense fear of abandonment which is a good match for the DPD who will not leave even a dysfunctional relationship.
People with BPD strongly desire a deep connection with those around them. This is partly because of their fear of abandonment but because they simply love people and crave deep connections.
Results found in a 2014 study found the average length of a BPD relationship between those who either married or living together as partners was 7.3 years. However, there are cases where couples can stay together for 20+ years.
Gentle: Don't attack, threaten, or lay guilt trips. (Act) Interested: Listen to what your partner has to say, don't interrupt them, and be sensitive to what they are feeling. Validate: Be non-judgmental and validate their feelings and problems. Easy Manner: Try to be lighthearted and ease your partner along.
People affected by BPD often have highly unstable intimate relationships. Usually of above average intelligence, they tend to fall in love easily, sometimes without getting to know the person.
People with BPD are often terrified that others will leave them. However, they can also shift suddenly to feeling smothered and fearful of intimacy, which leads them to withdraw from relationships. The result is a constant back-and-forth between demands for love or attention and sudden withdrawal or isolation.
People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) tend to have major difficulties with relationships, especially with those closest to them. Their wild mood swings, angry outbursts, chronic abandonment fears, and impulsive and irrational behaviors can leave loved ones feeling helpless, abused, and off balance.
People with BPD can act overly needy. If you take them out of their comfort zone, or when they feel “abandoned” they can become a burden.
Borderline Personality Disorder
However, because of the nature of this condition, the favorite person connection may sometimes swing between extreme love and attachment, to a strong dislike. This switch may occur when the person with BPD perceives that their emotional needs aren't being adequately met.
Symptoms of BPD
Suicidal threats, suicidal behavior or self-injury. Intense fear of abandonment or rejection. Periods of stress-related paranoia and irrational thoughts. Highly reactive and extended mood swings.
The fragility of a BPD woman can also plug into a man's hero complex. Her constant need for reassurance and support can exaggerate an insecure person's sense of importance. In fact, it's not uncommon for narcissistic men to gravitate to BPD women, because each disorder serves the other, says Freed.
Those with borderline personality disorder have problems regulating emotional impulses and often experience rocky relationships. But new research suggests that many men find traits associated with borderline personality disorder to be appealing in physically attractive women.
People with BPD represent approximately 6 percent of the population and may be men or women. They can be the life of the party and appear to be very popular and attractive. Their words can be extremely seductive, soothing, and exciting, alternating with extreme criticism, anger, and rage.
We're loyal partners and friends
Though there's often an assumption that we have unstable relationships – and in fact this is listed as one of the main symptoms of BPD – we are extremely loyal. As mentioned above, we tend to put ourselves last. Relationships are truly important to us, and our loyalty is strong.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is highly associated with verbal abuse, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, physical abuse, and/or domestic violence often suffered by those who are non-borderline.