People with BPD often are afraid of being alone, rejected, or abandoned by those closest to them, which can cause intense paranoia. 7 That may lead them to act obsessively and constantly seek reassurance, or even to push others away to avoid feeling hurt by a future rejection.
BPD's attention-seeking originates from the traumas they create. It's not a character flaw on the part of the sufferer, and although sufferers from BPD are aware of their behavior and its effects on others, they lack the insight and ability to change their ways of behaving.
For people with BPD, validation can help them understand their own experience as one that is real and makes sense. Validation improves communication and relationships. People listen more to what you are saying when they feel that you understand or at least are trying to understand their experience.
Coping skills for BPD are often centered around learning to manage moments of emotional instability and/or control anger. Some techniques to help in these situations could include: Using stress-reduction techniques, like deep breathing or meditation. Engaging in light exercise, like walking or yoga.
Splitting is a psychological mechanism which allows the person to tolerate difficult and overwhelming emotions by seeing someone as either good or bad, idealised or devalued. This makes it easier to manage the emotions that they are feeling, which on the surface seem to be contradictory.
Only remorse leads to a real apology and change. One of the hallmarks of people with Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (BP/NP) is that they often do not feel truly sorry. Even though a BP/NP may say he or she is sorry, there is often something lacking.
Family issues as a source of resistance
Another important source of resistance in treating patients with BPD is their notion that change may entail betraying their family in particular ways as well as giving up habits they may feel work well for them in avoiding feelings.
One study cited that almost 40% of people who were diagnosed with BPD were provided with a misdiagnosis of BD at some point in their lifetime in comparison to only 10% of people in the general population receiving a misdiagnosis of BD. The exact reasoning for this high rate of misdiagnosis is debated among researchers.
People with BPD can act overly needy. If you take them out of their comfort zone, or when they feel “abandoned” they can become a burden.
Borderline personality disorder is a mental illness that severely impacts a person's ability to regulate their emotions. This loss of emotional control can increase impulsivity, affect how a person feels about themselves, and negatively impact their relationships with others.
Borderline personality disorder usually begins by early adulthood. The condition seems to be worse in young adulthood and may gradually get better with age. If you have borderline personality disorder, don't get discouraged.
People with BPD often are afraid of being alone, rejected, or abandoned by those closest to them, which can cause intense paranoia. 7 That may lead them to act obsessively and constantly seek reassurance, or even to push others away to avoid feeling hurt by a future rejection.
Borderline/dependent: A person with borderline personality disorder (BPD) is well-matched with a person who has a dependent personality disorder (DPD). The BPD has an intense fear of abandonment which is a good match for the DPD who will not leave even a dysfunctional relationship.
Treating antisocial personality disorder
But antisocial personality disorder is one of the most difficult types of personality disorders to treat. A person with antisocial personality disorder may also be reluctant to seek treatment and may only start therapy when ordered to do so by a court.
Personality disorders are difficult to treat because it's very difficult for someone suffering from one of these disorders to separate their personality (how they interact with others, how they view the world, and how they think about themselves) from the symptoms of their mental illness.
Some therapists work around this by diagnosing comorbid conditions, such as anxiety or depression, that are often present with BPD symptoms. Other therapists are uncomfortable with this practice and, for this reason, avoid treating BPD.
Gaslighting is by no means unique to individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD), but certain symptoms make it more likely for people with BPD to feel gaslighted by others and create circumstances where others feel gaslighted by them. Gaps in memory result from dissociation.
Often, the borderline person is unaware of how they feel when their feelings surface, so they displace their feelings onto others as causing them. They may not realise that their feelings belong within them, so they think that their partner is responsible for hurting them and causing them to feel this way.
MD. People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) often rotate between idolizing and devaluing others. In the case of the “favorite person,” the individual with BPD prefers one person and wants to spend all their time with them.
Results found in a 2014 study found the average length of a BPD relationship between those who either married or living together as partners was 7.3 years. However, there are cases where couples can stay together for 20+ years.
What might trigger a splitting episode? A split is typically triggered by an event that causes a person with BPD to take extreme emotional viewpoints. These events may be relatively ordinary, such as having to travel on a business trip or getting in an argument with someone.