Put simply, they ignore you to regain control. The narcissist uses ignoring you as a way to punish for some wrongdoing you committed. They don't feel the need to tell you what the wrongdoing was, they just jump into ignoring you as quick as possible to protect themselves from further narcissistic injury.
The Purpose of the Silent Treatment
Essentially, the point of the silent treatment is to make the victim feel confused, stressed, guilty, ashamed, not good enough, or unstable enough so that they would do what the manipulator wants.
Tell the person how the silent treatment hurts and leaves you feeling frustrated and alone. That's not what you want or need in a relationship. Explain that you can't resolve issues this way, then be specific about those issues. If this sort of behavior is a relationship deal-breaker for you, state it plainly.
Being silent is a narcissist's desperate attempt to rekindle attention from you that was provided at the beginning of the relationship. Sometimes it works, but for those of us who've caught on to all the lies and deception, it's just kind of funny, infuriating, but funny.
Daramus lists some reasons why a person with narcissistic tendencies might discard you: You were too difficult for them to control. You were easily manipulated by them, causing them to look down upon you. You no longer fuel their ego, so they've moved on to someone else who can supply what they need.
The narcissist can go for weeks without speaking to you, with the implication being that you need them more than they need you. You will be the one to beg for forgiveness and acquiesce to their demands. Sometimes the silent treatment never ends.
The silent treatment can last for hours, days, weeks or months. Some people do this because they are genuinely hurt and unable to speak. When they do feel able to talk, it'll be a two-way conversation. A narcissist uses the silent treatment to punish you.
It's imperative to stay the course and resist the temptation to engage in any way with the narcissist. To successfully disengage from a person with NPD, you must continue to ignore them indefinitely until they move on, all the while working on your healing process.
Although most narcissists seem to attempt reconciliation a few times before suddenly disappearing, most eventually stop and proceed with an abrupt separation or divorce. There are several significant reasons as to why they do this.
One of the main reasons why a narcissist ignores you is that they want to control you. More likely, they want to regain control of you. A narcissist uses ignoring people as a way to punish them. Especially if they feel like you are pulling away.
Simply put, narcissists hate being ignored. They probably want to make you feel ashamed, regretful, and rattled. They want to be in control and will go to any length to keep feeling empowered. It's critical to understand that a narcissist will not leave you alone the first time you ignore them.
The clearest sign of a discard is when they leave. Narcissists stop contacting you, and there is no explanation. Narcissistic ghosting is a push-pull game, where they push you away, hoping you'll pull back. Ghosting also occurs because narcissists have usually found a new supply or are busy hunting for one.
While they will repeatedly abandon you throughout the relationship with little discards, the final discard will feel slightly different. The narcissist might cross a line they never have before. For example, they might become physically aggressive when they haven't before.
In narcissists' efforts to avoid blame, they often combine several fake apologies at once, such as, “I am sorry if I said anything to offend you, but I have strong opinions. Maybe you're too sensitive,” or, “I guess I should tell you I am sorry.
I had no idea that responding to the silent treatment gives the person doing it a false sense of control. That's definitely not OK. Left unchecked, the silent treatment becomes a pattern of behavior and emotional abuse that is used to manipulate over time.
More often, the narcissist will go silent for some period of time, and then return as if nothing happened. They may have found a new source of supply but had a falling out with them and now they need something from you. Your best bet is to ignore them the way they ignored you earlier.
Begin any discussion with a compliment, flattery, or praise in order to get the narcissist's attention. To keep their attention, listen endlessly. This might be hard when narcissists repeat themselves, which they will hardly be aware of.
Narcissist silent treatment is a clear form of manipulation, and many psychologists believe that it is just as dangerous and debilitating as gaslighting. They say that silence speaks volumes, and they're certainly not wrong!
If narcissists don't get their way, they love to give people the silent treatment. This is very effective that makes the loved one distressed. They'll react negatively to not receiving the attention or love they are addicted to getting from the narcissist.
Hence, it is clear that a narcissist rebound relationship may last only a few months. Some break up after a short fling of two to three weeks, while others end the relationship after the sweet initial phase ends in just a few months.