Research indicates life after divorce for men is more traumatic than it is for women, taking a more significant emotional toll as well as sparking physical deterioration. Women file for divorce 70% of the time, and when it's a shock, with no time to prepare — that has a marked impact on how men handle divorce.
Statistics show that while women initiate divorce almost twice the rate that men do, women are also much more likely to greatly struggle financially after divorce. This is particularly true if children are involved.
And while media often shows men finding relief after “escaping the bear trap” of a bad marriage, and casts women in a desperate, “washed-up” light, research continues to show that women often report being happier after divorce.
However, several studies have discovered that men tend to have a harder time coping with the aftermath of divorce than women do.
Studies show that divorces are equally hard on men and significantly affect their overall health, happiness, and life. In fact, divorce has a more negative connotation for men than women. They suffer more in silence and are likely to develop feelings of resentment and hopelessness after divorce.
Research has shown that divorce is harder on men than on women. Generally, men have more to lose in terms of happiness and health after a divorce than their wives.
According to a survey, 39% of men regret being divorced. But it is not as simple as it seems. This statistic has many layers to it – for example, a man who has committed marital wrongdoing that triggered the divorce may regret the event, but a man who has been wronged during the marriage may not regret it.
Divorce with school-aged kids (5 to 13 years old)
The school-aged years are probably the worst age for divorce for children; the potential for emotional trauma from divorce is highest at age 11.
According to various studies, the 4 most common causes of divorce are lack of commitment, infidelity or extramarital affairs, too much conflict and arguing, and lack of physical intimacy. The least common reasons are lack of shared interests and incompatibility between partners.
What science says. Past studies suggest that it takes a person, on average, eighteen months to move on after divorce, while others simply leave it at “it's complicated.” And that's the truth—divorce is complicated, and because of this, science is only so accurate.
Shame is one of the most toxic emotions associated with divorce. And people feel it for all sorts of reasons. Some people feel shame for “failing” at their marriages or putting on a brave face for too long. Others feel shame for being unfaithful, or for having a partner that was unfaithful to them.
The study found that on average unhappily married adults who divorced were no happier than unhappily married adults who stayed married when rated on any of 12 separate measures of psychological well-being. Divorce did not typically reduce symptoms of depression, raise self-esteem, or increase a sense of mastery.
Men Are More Likely to Remarry
The rate for women was significantly lower, at only 19.4 per 1,000 women eligible for remarriage. This data indicates that men are consistently more likely to attempt a second marriage than women.
There are five common emotions people experience during the divorce process. They are often referred to as the five stages of grief. They include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Naturally, these expand to more nuanced emotions that vary based on your circumstances.
Divorce is a life-changing event that affects both men and women, but studies have shown that women often experience more negative effects both financially and emotionally. For many women, divorce can lead to financial instability, loss of social support, and a decline in their mental health.
Emotional and Psychological Effects of Divorce on Women
Women tend to have a higher frequency of identity problems during and after a divorce. Many women are focused on being superb mothers and wives during the marriage then face the sudden loss of the second self-identity.
The crude divorce rate (divorces per 1,000 Australian residents) was 2.2 divorces per 1,000 residents in 2021, up from 1.9 in 2020. The total number of divorces granted in 2021 was 56,244, the highest number of divorces recorded since 1976.
A study led by the American Sociological Association determined that nearly 70% of divorces are initiated by women. And the percentage of college-educated American women who initiated divorce is even higher.
But inevitably, over time, the sparkle wears off and the risk of relationship breakdown becomes very real. Statistics reveal that up to 33% of all Australian marriages are expected to end in divorce [1], and countless more relationships fall by the way side.
Many people consider the separation phase to be the most difficult. This is the time between when you decide to get divorced and the date you actually get divorced. This period often presents the most uncertainties about child support, visitation, alimony, division of assets, and more.
For the divorcee, divorce can be psychologically traumatic because if unexpected, the individual could feel shocked and powerless to the event. The divorcee could also feel personally betrayed by their significant other, leaving confusion, pain, and deep, emotional scarring.
While there are countless divorce studies with conflicting statistics, the data points to two periods during a marriage when divorces are most common: years 1 – 2 and years 5 – 8. Of those two high-risk periods, there are two years in particular that stand out as the most common years for divorce — years 7 and 8.
When a man is going through a divorce, he's losing the woman who was supposed to be his soulmate, his lifelong partner, so it's natural for him to grieve the loss. When men try to bury their feelings and skip the grieving period, naturally, they still “feel” the loss.
Absolutely—life after a divorce can be full of more love than ever. A divorced man is likely going through a difficult and confusing time, but rest assured that it won't stay that way forever. Millions of people get divorced every year, and it's not like they go on to never love, date, or marry again.
Men regret losing the kind of woman who is emotionally independent, bold enough to take care of her own life and happiness, and kind to her near and dear ones. She doesn't look back after someone disrespects her and won't give in easily to the proposition of getting back together with that person.