INFPs and INFJs are commonly confused for one another due to their apparent commitment to sensitivity, forming deep relationships and helping others navigate the world. Though, while INFPs and INFJs may seem similar at first glance, these two personality types possess distinctions which set them apart.
The best matches for INFJs include intuitive types such as INTJ, INFP, and ENFJ. INFJs are the least compatible with sensors, especially ESTJs, ESTPs, and ESFPs.
INFJs' only true enemy is themselves, or more specifically, their inner critic. However, some personality types may be difficult for INFJs to get along with including: ESTJs: They are often seen as being too blunt, dominant, and insensitive for INFJs.
In America, the preferred personality type is the ESTJ – the polar opposite of the INFJ. With the INFJ personality type being so rare and the culture at large favoring your opposite, it can be easy to feel left out, broken, misunderstood, and unappreciated.
At their best, INFJs make modest, reliable teammates, and allow others to take the lead. INFJs may undervalue their own needs, ideas, and contributions, acting overly shy and not taking credit when due. At their worst, INFJs can be excessively submissive, ineffectual, and too dependent on direction from others.
In my experiences coaching INFJs, I've noticed that they fall on two ends of this spectrum quite frequently. More often than not, I find INFJs who desperately want time alone to process, analyze, and intuit. Yet these INFJs feel hyper-responsible for others and have an incessant itch to take care of people.
INFJs are hardworking perfectionists—and their biggest fear is failure. An INFJs fear of failure can transform into a fear of a failed relationship and subsequent abandonment, a fear of not achieving a goal, or deep-seated fear of not being “good enough.” If those things terrify you, you might be an INFJ.
Sensitive people like INFJs absorb more information than others and are more aware of emotions, so they tend to experience information overload more quickly. They become stressed when they are subjected to too much information, including noise, crowds, bright lights and other people's feelings and moods.
INFJs are no exception to this rule, and when they become overly stressed they may display a dark side that includes angry outbursts, obsessive worrying, perfectionism, or even depression. When INFJs first encounter stress, they start to behave very true-to-type.
In the world of personality theory, the INTP and INFJ pairing has been nicknamed “The Golden Pair” because these two types can be highly compatible.
INFJs preferring Quality Time and/or Words of Affirmation is also supported by a survey conducted by Heidi Priebe. According to Priebe's survey, 35.67% of INFJs list “Quality Time” as their preferred love language.
INFJs and ENFPs also make for great friends. Their inverted cognitive functions complement each other extremely well, which can often lead to INFJs suggesting solutions that someone with an ENFP personality would never think of on their own, and vice versa.
Other people think they're too sensitive.
Since they're sensitive, they're more likely to share their emotions with people close to them. Unfortunately, some people read their sensitivity as weakness instead of caring. This leaves INFJs feeling alienated for having feelings beyond their control.
That's why the ENTP and INFJ combination is often considered a match made in heaven. The fun-loving ENTP can shake up the structured INFJ a bit, and help them get out of their heads.
Many people see INFJs as being quiet, supportive, and empathetic. Because they tend to take on others' emotional burdens, they are often used as a source of emotional unloading. People vent all their feelings and emotional traumas onto the INFJ because they know they will be emotionally supportive and understanding.
Ni-dominant types (INTJs and INFJs) often need considerable quiet time to themselves to think and focus. Interruptions, noise, and excessive sensory stimulation will push an INFJ to the edge of their comfort zone.
This sensitive personality type possess an enormous strength — compassion. Yet sometimes INFJs run the risk of going beyond just helping someone and serving as a catalyst for their growth. Instead, they try to “fix” a toxic person who doesn't take accountability for their own healing.
We crave meaning and purpose.
INFJs are notorious for championing a cause or advocating for others. When we're unsure of our causes or cannot find meaning in our work, we float around rather lost, unsure of our purpose in life. This leaves us feeling pretty down in the dumps.
INFJs keep to themselves.
This can make them hard to get to know, and they are often that one person in the group who's shrouded in mystery. INFJs are also resistant to vulnerability, so even after the conversation is started, the INFJ isn't likely to offer up any meaningful connection right away.
Here are some of the things that make INFJs the angriest:
Rudeness. Having their ideas and insights dismissed or ignored. Lack of empathy.
Exercising alone is helpful, and some INFJs find great solace in nature. Other stress busters include light reading, writing in a journal or meditation.
INTP and INFJ couples have received a reputation for being the “Golden Couple,” but like any other match, they can experience difficulties in their differences.
Introverted Intuition is the strongest and most accessible function of the INFJ. In a way, this is the function they live and breathe. It's not hard for INFJs to tap into Ni because it's the most relied upon part of their psyche.
The bottom line. Most INFJs are naturally conflict averse, as engaging in conflict threatens their Fe values of group harmony, and stability. Still, what INFJs often fail to see is that conflict can actually serve a purpose. It can initiate positive change and growth in a relationship.