The secure attachment style is the most common type of attachment in western society. Research suggests that around 66% of the US population is securely attached. People who have developed this type of attachment are self-contented, social, warm, and easy to connect to.
The fearful-avoidant attachment style is rarer than the other attachment styles, typically occurring in about 7% of the population. It often develops in the first 18 months of life and is most prevalent in those who were abused or experienced trauma as a child.
Disorganized attachment style
Also known as fearful-avoidant attachment. Disorganized attachment is the most extreme and least common style. People with disorganized attachment can be seen to act irrationally and be unpredictable or intense in their relationships.
Secure attachment style. People who are securely attached appreciate their own self-worth and ability to be themselves in their relationships. They openly seek support and comfort from their partner, and are similarly happy when their partner relies on them for emotional support.
Dismissive/Avoidant - Avoidant attachment is typically exhibited by a rejection of intimacy and independence, however, their independence is more to avoid dependence on others rather than feeling secure. This is often considered an unhealthy attachment style.
The most difficult type of insecure attachment is the disorganized attachment style.
Which Attachment Style Is Most Manipulative? On the more extreme end of anxious attachment, a person may be more likely to become emotionally manipulative because they will go through as much as they can to make sure an attachment figure doesn't leave them.
People with an avoidant attachment style can come across as selfish, appearing to put their own needs in front of their partner's needs. When their partner expresses feelings or needs, they might show annoyance or disdain.
Avoidant Attachment: less likely to fall in love and more likely to engage in casual sex. Adults with an avoidant attachment style typically have a deactivated attachment system. Avoidant individuals do not seek proximity and intimacy, avoid the display of emotions, and appear distant and cold.
The anxiously attached individual does not pair well with the dismissive-avoidant type. The self-isolated ways of the dismissive-avoidant partner will constantly leave the anxiously attached partner feeling unloved, unsafe, and unwanted.
Some studies showed that differences in attachment styles seem to influence both the frequency and the patterns of jealousy expression: individuals with the preoccupied or fearful-avoidant attachment styles more often become jealous and consider rivals as more threatening than those with the secure attachment style [9, ...
In truth, the disorganized attachment style is considered to be the most difficult form of insecure attachment to manage – disorganized adults strongly desire love and acceptance but simultaneously fear that those closest to them will hurt them.
In fact, if either partner was anxiously attached, the couple had higher odds of one of them being unfaithful. Those with a partner who had an avoidant attachment style actually had the lowest rates of infidelity.
Secure Attachment Style
Secure attachment types obviously make the best romantic partners, family members, and even friends. They're capable of accepting rejection and moving on despite the pain, but are also capable of being loyal and sacrificing when necessary.
Anxiously attached people are more likely to be unfaithful to their partner, suggesting this is one of the worst attachment styles, research finds. High levels of attachment anxiety are linked to a fear of abandonment. People who are anxiously attached are extremely 'needy'.
Most divorce mediations are probably with avoidant/anxious couples. In divorce mediation with anxious/avoidant/ couples (and to a lesser extent with anxious/secure couples), the anxiously-attached spouse may be inappropriately prone to yield ground.
Anxious attachment is what is most often referred to as codependent. Those with anxious attachment often feel as though they would like to be close to others or one person in particular but they worry that another person may not want to be close to them. They struggle with feeling inferior, never good enough.
Cook says hopeless romantics are often coping with anxious attachment, which goes hand-in-hand with a fear of abandonment. "With anxious attachment, we feel desperate to find a connection — sometimes, any connection — and will do just about anything to hold onto it, even if it is not serving us."
Individuals with an anxious attachment style are characterized with: Being clingy. Having an intensely persistent and hypervigilant alertness towards their partner's actions or inactions.
Anxious attachment: These people may have not had their core needs met in childhood. They may have even been abandoned by a parent. As a result, they can be clingy, afraid of abandonment (even when there is no real threat), and preoccupied with thoughts of their partner.
Results revealed a significant positive relationship between anxious attachment style and both primary and secondary psychopathy; avoidant attachment was significantly correlated with secondary psychopathy alone; and, anxious-avoidant attachment was associated with both primary and secondary psychopathy.
People with an anxious/preoccupied style of attachment, who worry and fret about signs and signals that they're about to be left or betrayed, present ideal candidates for gaslighting.
So what does the research say about attachment theory and playing hard to get? Across four experiments, the researchers found that those with an avoidant attachment style are more likely to play hard to get. In contrast, those exhibiting anxious attachments are more willing to pursue someone who plays hard to get.
Higher fearful and dismissing attachment styles, and higher physical activity index were significantly associated with higher physical and verbal aggression. A higher fearful attachment style was significantly associated with more anger. A higher secure attachment style was significantly associated with less anger.
Furthermore, a securely attached person might be the ideal match for someone with an anxious attachment style. Someone with a secure attachment style is typically able to understand their partner's needs and, therefore, can help to regulate an anxious partner's emotions.