It usually means taking time to re-evaluate the relationship. It might mean dating other people, but it's not recommended. Setting goals and ground rules is key. Sometimes, a break is about self-reflection or working on personal issues.
Some people might think that taking a break from the relationship is an act of break-up. However, the fact is that mental breaks can be a way to nurture relationships if appropriately done. Keeping intimacy in my mind, a long-distance relationship, or taking a break might break your closeness level.
The exact temporal parameters can vary from couple to couple, but 3 weeks apart is a good baseline to set. Why three weeks? “You need about a week to let your body and mind adjust to not being around someone that you've been in a relationship with,” says Farrell.
But therapists and relationship experts agree that, under the right circumstances, and done the right way, a break can be a healthy way to deal with issues and strengthen a relationship. If it is not meant to be, it can also be a way to end the relationship in a positive way that lets you retain your friendship.
In the most fundamental sense, taking a break means that you and your partner haven't officially broken up, but you've decided to take some time off from each other and your relationship. It's also key to keep in mind that taking a break doesn't have to equal a breakup.
Don't: Communicate During a Break
And in turn, it's natural to keep going back to this person. But you need this break to clear your mind and reflect. Having regular communication or even checking in with your partner will only muddy things up.
Even ifyou were the one who initiated the split, there are five stages ofgrief that you will go through. They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, according to Mental-Health-Matters. These are the natural ways for your heart to heal.
"If you and your partner are taking a break from the relationship, it should be exactly that — a break," she explains. Going no contact might sound vindictive or rude, but it's really the best way to embrace your time apart, which is the whole purpose of the break.
"A break could be any length of time, but past a point, it becomes a 'breakup,'" says Dr. Steinberg. "If you don't want it to be considered a 'breakup,' then the break shouldn't be more than a season, or three months long."
Many relationships can recover from taking a break and actually turn out to be stronger than before, but that is not always the case. If you and your partner are unable to set clear boundaries and rules in the beginning, or are unable to stick to those things during the break, then your relationship might not make it.
For same-sex married couples, the break-up rate falls from roughly 8 percent for those who have been together for 5 years to under 1 percent for those who have been together for at least 20 years. For heterosexual married couples, the rate falls from a shade over 3 percent to less than 1 percent over the same period.
"The lion's share of couples who separate never get back together, and a number of those who do reunite won't go the distance," she says. One study found that only 10 percent of couples living together reunite after separating, and only 33 percent of those who do reunite will stay together.
feel overwhelmed — unable to concentrate or make decisions. be moody — feeling low or depression; feeling burnt out; emotional outbursts of uncontrollable anger, fear, helplessness or crying. feel depersonalised — not feeling like themselves or feeling detached from situations.
Research shows that taking purposeful breaks (anywhere from 5–60 minutes) from studying to refresh your brain and body increases your energy, productivity, and ability to focus. Keep in mind: social media doesn't work well as a “purposeful break” (see the research).
Taking a mental health break means distancing yourself from stressful day-to-day routines to rebalance your mind, body, and soul. Relaxing activities help you decompress, whether you do them for 10 minutes or an hour a day.
Is it okay to communicate during a break? In general, if you have decided to take a break in your relationship, it might be a good idea not to communicate when you are apart from your mate. The only reason you should communicate is if you need to talk about the care of your children.
He could have some major finals or a huge crunch at work, and doesn't want any distractions. He could really just be looking for some space. If he's stressed and he's the kind of person that needs to focus on one thing at a time, you'll both feel better in the long run if you give him that space.
A relationship break means actively creating the space to step out of the complexity and friction. It gives you time to sort through your own set of mixed emotions. The truth of the matter is that if you have reached this place, then there are there are serious issues causing antagonism and frustration.
After you realize that bargaining didn't work, you go into the depression phase – one of the hardest stages of grief in a breakup. This is different from Clinical Depression because what you feel in this stage is a normal reaction to the loss of a relationship. You might feel sad or lost or just not yourself.
Do things that you find relaxing, like watching a movie, listening to music or playing sport. Talk to family, friends, Elders and others who can support you. It's OK to want some time to yourself but hanging out with supportive people helps get your mind off things, and can help you get a different perspective.
Taking time apart can allow you both to think about the issues in your relationship, cool off, learn new coping strategies, and come back together with a different lens or perspective that can be difficult to have when you're together and actively fighting through your issues.
Dr. Ford suggests that while breaks can sometimes be a risky move, they can sometimes be the right step for a relationship. The key is to make sure that you are taking a break for the right reasons, establish clear ground rules, and use the time wisely to gain clarity.