People who suffer from BPD show erratic mood-swings and find it difficult to trust and understand the motives of others. As a result, they suffer from fraught personal relationships with friends, colleagues and partners.
According to previous research, patients with borderline personality disorder (BPD) show intense reactions to perceived abandonment, a high degree of mistrust, and a distorted, negative perception of others that contribute significantly to interpersonal problems.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is characterized by unstable interpersonal relationships and intense concerns regarding abandonment and rejection. Previous studies suggest that these and other symptoms of BPD may have their origin in a greater appraisal of untrustworthiness in others.
With treatment and continual support from family and partners, people with BPD can have successful relationships.
Passionate and emotional – When a person with BPD loves, the love is deep, highly committed and loyal to the relationship. Even though there may be struggles with attachment and fears of abandonment, these are ultimately manifestations of love.
Often, the person with BPD will react towards loved ones as if they were the abusers from their past, and take out vengeance and anger towards them. When the person with BPD feels abandoned, they can become abusive or controlling as a way to defend against feelings of abandonment or feeling unworthy.
People with BPD score low on cognitive empathy but high on emotional empathy. This suggests that they do not easily understand other peoples' perspectives, but their own emotions are very sensitive. This is important because it could align BPD with other neurodiverse conditions.
Results found in a 2014 study found the average length of a BPD relationship between those who either married or living together as partners was 7.3 years. However, there are cases where couples can stay together for 20+ years.
In particular, there is evidence that BPD is commonly misdiagnosed as Bipolar Disorder, Type 2. One study showed that 40% of people who met criteria for BPD but not for bipolar disorder were nevertheless misdiagnosed with Bipolar Type 2.
Often, the borderline person is unaware of how they feel when their feelings surface, so they displace their feelings onto others as causing them. They may not realise that their feelings belong within them, so they think that their partner is responsible for hurting them and causing them to feel this way.
Respect their need for space. You will reach a point where your loved one seems to be pushing you away. Don't walk away and leave them, but do respect their need for space. And let them know that.
Borderline/dependent: A person with borderline personality disorder (BPD) is well-matched with a person who has a dependent personality disorder (DPD). The BPD has an intense fear of abandonment which is a good match for the DPD who will not leave even a dysfunctional relationship.
In close relationships, a person with BPD may appear jealous, possessive, or hyper-reactive. These individuals often fear being left alone and have deep feelings of worthlessness. In many cases, this disorder is the direct result of childhood trauma, abuse, violence, or neglect.
People with BPD can act overly needy. If you take them out of their comfort zone, or when they feel “abandoned” they can become a burden.
The young woman with BPD told Elite Daily, “Long story short, it's very hard for those with BPD to have successful and healthy relationships and stable confidence levels. Our version of 'logical thinking' is most often overthinking. We have a very hard time distinguishing between real issues or imaginary issues.
People with BPD may be sensitive to rejection and abandonment and are prone to splitting, rage, and impulsivity. If a person with BPD feels rejected or abandoned, they may end the relationship. However, this is usually followed by significant anxiety and regret and efforts to get back together.
Those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or those with BPD who may not even know they have it, are more likely than the general population to be verbally, emotionally/psychologically, physically abusive.
One of the most common ways of characterizing patients diagnosed with borderline personality disorder is that they are manipulative. Clinical usage of the term varies widely but clearly carries a pejorative meaning.
These results suggest that patients with BPD report becoming more accepting and forgiving over time. Additionally, recovery status is significantly associated with increasing time in these states.
In turn, this negatively affects their relationships. If your partner with BPD is unfaithful or wrongfully accuses you of cheating, you are likely to be angry and emotional, and you may even think about ending the relationship. In this sense, BPD can worsen relationship issues.
Results found in a 2014 study found the average length of a BPD relationship between those who either married or living together as partners was 7.3 years. However, there are cases where couples can stay together for 20+ years.
Unstable relationships
If you have BPD, you may feel that other people abandon you when you most need them, or that they get too close and smother you. When people fear abandonment, it can lead to feelings of intense anxiety and anger.
While relationships can be challenging when one or both partners have BPD, healthy bonds are still possible. Learning more about the condition and seeking professional support can be helpful steps.