What is the silent treatment after an argument with a narcissist?
The Purpose of the Silent Treatment
Essentially, the point of the silent treatment is to make the victim feel confused, stressed, guilty, ashamed, not good enough, or unstable enough so that they would do what the manipulator wants.
Does a narcissist care if you give them the silent treatment?
If narcissists don't get their way, they love to give people the silent treatment. This is very effective that makes the loved one distressed. They'll react negatively to not receiving the attention or love they are addicted to getting from the narcissist.
They will have a violent, excessive, and disorderly reaction to the rejection. In a nutshell, they want and will try to create a scene. Simply put, narcissists hate being ignored. They probably want to make you feel ashamed, regretful, and rattled.
People on the narcissism spectrum — from those with narcissistic traits to those with diagnosed narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) — may have an intense desire to win arguments, as it helps keep their ego intact. At times, it may seem as though they'll accomplish this by any means necessary.
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
How do you shut down the narcissist during the silent treatment?
Give them and yourself some space. One way to diffuse a tense situation is to retreat for a while. Give yourself some room to regroup and collect your thoughts. The narcissist may realize that the silent treatment isn't as effective as they thought or that they're risking everything by using it.
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.
The narcissist's goal with the silent treatment is to get you to think you are in the wrong, apologize, and then all blame is on you. They have effectively created a scenario where you have taken the blame while they sit back and wait for you to come to them.
Rage: Narcissists are insecure and when there is a narcissistic injury to their sense of self, they will rage. This is often done with yelling and insults hurled at the victim. During these rages, the narcissist can be the most damaging in their words.
However, some studies have also pointed out that narcissistic characteristics may not only arise from childhood environments characterized by neglect/abuse, but also from environments in which a child is sheltered or overly praised [11,14,15].
If you ignore a narcissist and deny them their source, they may become enraged and try even harder for your attention – especially in ways that can be toxic or abusive. Ignoring a narcissist will enrage them because of their fragile egos. They'll feel humiliated and lash out against you to protect themselves.
It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".
