More often than not, anger in women is a secondary emotion to a bigger, more underlying issue or emotion. Anger affects everyone regardless of age or gender. However, women may be more susceptible to anger from problems related to women's mental health, postpartum rage, and mom burnout.
Anger is often a reaction to and distraction from inner suffering—feelings such as sadness, powerlessness, shame, anxiety, inadequacy, and isolation. Anger can be both an outgrowth of, and meaningful distraction, from the intense pain of underlying depression.
Her anger could be down to hormones, depression or stress, but unless she's willing to accept she has a problem, talk about it and seek help from her GP or a counsellor, then you'll never be able to move on. Sometimes a trial separation can help both partners to work out how they really feel about a relationship.
Anger can have a serious impact on a relationship. Those who live with and love someone who has a lot of anger can often get caught up in trying to find fault. A symptom of something deeper and more complex, anger can also be contagious, and both people in the relationship often end up angry.
Too much anger can damage any marriage. Over time, it can cause contempt and resentment. When one or both partners express anger in uncontrolled ways, inevitably, this will cause hurt in one or both of you. Hurt feelings can fester and become the underlying reason for fights and arguments.
If you do get this angry, in order to once again think clearly, you must take some time to calm down. This can take a person anywhere from 20 minutes to 24 hours.
While women are often largely unaware of their own anger, men are acutely aware of women's underlying anger, even if that anger is not openly expressed. In fact, many of the problematic dynamics in heterosexual relationships can be explained by men's fear of women being angry with and disapproving of them.
Angry women make men feel uncomfortable, even threatened. Sad women make men feel gallant and protective. In my work as a psychotherapist, I often witness these social prohibitions against women feeling angry. It's not unusual for women to cry while talking about feeling angry.
People often express their anger in different ways, but they usually share four common triggers. We organize them into buckets: frustrations, irritations, abuse, and unfairness.
Relationships. Anger can cause lasting scars in the people you love most and get in the way of friendships and work relationships. Explosive anger makes it hard for others to trust you, speak honestly, or feel comfortable—and is especially damaging to children.
