Taking a relationship break may feel scary, but it can be really helpful for your relationship in the long run. To have a successful, healthy break, it's important for you and your partner to communicate clearly with one another and use that time to reflect and consider your vision for the future.
'” The exact temporal parameters can vary from couple to couple, but 3 weeks apart is a good baseline to set. Why three weeks? “You need about a week to let your body and mind adjust to not being around someone that you've been in a relationship with,” says Farrell.
Many relationships can recover from taking a break and actually turn out to be stronger than before, but that is not always the case. If you and your partner are unable to set clear boundaries and rules in the beginning, or are unable to stick to those things during the break, then your relationship might not make it.
But therapists and relationship experts agree that, under the right circumstances, and done the right way, a break can be a healthy way to deal with issues and strengthen a relationship. If it is not meant to be, it can also be a way to end the relationship in a positive way that lets you retain your friendship.
In short: yes — as long as both people in the relationship want it to. “Space can heal a relationship,” explains Jason Polk, a licensed clinical social worker and couples therapist in Denver, Colorado, “especially if the couple is currently toxic or verbally abusive to each other.”
Set a reasonable time frame
Six months is a break up, not a break, the experts say. Anything from one week to a month should be enough time for one or both parties to determine whether they should stay together.
In the most fundamental sense, taking a break means that you and your partner haven't officially broken up, but you've decided to take some time off from each other and your relationship. It's also key to keep in mind that taking a break doesn't have to equal a breakup.
But no matter how much you and your partner have discussed your issues as a couple, going on a break requires a clear and direct conversation. It might be painful or awkward, but a break must start with a clear line of communication if you have any chance of coming back together at the end.
Coan advises every couple to adhere to the 70/30 rule: For the happiest, most harmonious relationship, the pro suggests spending 70% of time together, and 30% apart. That gives each of you enough freedom to explore your own interests while still being rooted and invested in your relationship.
One huge component of lasting relationships is envisioning your shared future together, as you co-create your lives and partnership. If the view of the future doesn't align, or if you've stopped talking about future plans altogether, it may indicate a relationship is coming to an end.
According to much research, about 40 to 50 percent of couples get back together after a breakup. While this is positive, many factors determine the chances of getting back together after a breakup. To begin with, most people get back together with their ex because they still harbor some feelings for them.
"The lion's share of couples who separate never get back together, and a number of those who do reunite won't go the distance," she says. One study found that only 10 percent of couples living together reunite after separating, and only 33 percent of those who do reunite will stay together.
Taking breaks doesn't just happen among dating couples. Estimates suggest that around 6% to 18% of married couples have separated at some point in their marriage.
"A break could be any length of time, but past a point, it becomes a 'breakup,'" says Dr. Steinberg. "If you don't want it to be considered a 'breakup,' then the break shouldn't be more than a season, or three months long."
A more recent study indicated that the majority of couples (70.68%) don't get back together at all. 14.38% of couples reconciled only to split up again a year later while the percentage of couples that get back together and stay together is around 15%.
3) He truly misses you
One reason why men come back after giving them space is that they realize how much they miss being with you. During his time alone, he remembers you – the way you talk, smell, smile, and walk. He reminisces on the time you spent together and the little things you do for him.
In most cases, you'll need to give them several days or possibly weeks of space, depending on what happened. During this time, don't call or text them more than you agreed. If you do, they'll feel like you aren't respecting their wishes and may become more upset. If you can, ask them what they'd prefer.
Three-Month Rule: After a Break-Up
Basically, after a break-up, the three-month rule is a rule that says you and your ex are both given 3 months before entering the dating scene again. Just waiting it out, and mourning that your relationship ended. Just go on with your individual separate lives and see what happens.
Don't: Communicate During a Break
And in turn, it's natural to keep going back to this person. But you need this break to clear your mind and reflect. Having regular communication or even checking in with your partner will only muddy things up.
Wait 4-6 weeks after the breakup for your ex to text you first. If you're nervous or unsure about whether your ex-girlfriend wants to hear from you, you could wait for her to text you. That way, you'll know for sure she's ready to talk.
There are many valid reasons why a couple may choose to take a break, and as it turns out, it does not automatically mean you're doomed for a permanent breakup. According to relationship expert Susan Winter, “Breaks can be for the purpose of reflection and reconfiguration, or time devoted to personal development.
Only do it for the right reasons: Comrie says that taking a break works when you know you still want to be together, but are faced with temporary circumstances that are best faced apart. It has to be a reason that taking a break might actually help you overcome. Don't take a break if you really want to break up.