As sensitive Introverts, INFJs are quiet, reflective individuals who are focused on their internal world of thoughts and ideas. They are constantly absorbing and processing information, so they need to spend a lot of time thinking deeply about patterns, meanings and how things fit together.
Being cold and “heartless” is just an INFJ's surface personality, it's usually not real. They feel things very deeply, are sensitive and let things get to them easily. However, at times, INFJs can be really cold. If you did something wrong, INFJs got hurt and don't want you around anymore, that's how they will act.
They have a vivid inner life but are often hesitant to share this with others, except for those closest to them. While they are quiet and sensitive, INFJs can also be good leaders. Even when they don't take on overt leadership roles, they often act as quiet influencers behind the scenes.
INFJs are empathetic, patient listeners and loyal friends, but they may shut down when others push them too far. The Counselor personality has a cold, closed side, and it can be extremely hard to win them back as a friend when that relationship becomes strained.
INFJs can appear very awkward when their intuition kicks in and they start reading into a situation. For instance, if someone is being sweeter to the boss than usual, you may infer that they are doing it to get ahead at work.
Due to their uniqueness, INFJs are often misunderstood by others. INFJs are complex individuals who spend a lot of time thinking about the world around them. While they appear independent, self-assured, and confident to others, in reality, they are sensitive, insecure, and often in need of meaningful relationships.
Their perfectionism can drive others away.
INFJs are perfectionists. Their compulsion for perfection can be harmful to the INFJ themselves, but it can also push people away.
When I surveyed INFJs about their flirting styles, more than anything, they expressed a deep desire to connect emotionally with someone they liked. They will be more emotionally open, express more of their deeper longings, and become more vulnerable with you if they like you.
INFJ: Superficiality
Superficial conversations about gossipy topics or small talk don't usually interest an INFJ, so it can be a major turn-off when someone is too eager to stick to the surface level of communication. Shallow conversations and frivolous topics can make an INFJ feel bored, disconnected, and uninspired.
In fact, INFJ personalities are talkative and bubbly, but only around people they trust and know well. In large and unknown social settings, they rarely take the lead and expect others to keep their end of the conversation.
INFJs also feel embarrassed when they cry in front of others or react emotionally to criticism. They also experience “second-hand embarrassment”. This occurs when they empathize too strongly with someone who has done something awkward or is embarrassing themselves.
INFJs may seem shy at first, but they usually have a lot going on beneath the surface. They tend to follow their hunches to determine what to do next. However, they'll usually share their vision for the future only with the people they're closest to.
INFJs are easily overwhelmed by bright lights, strong smells, scratchy fabric or loud noise. This is not simply overreacting. For them, it feels like the volume is always turned up too high, sometimes bringing them to tears or making them avoid people.
INFJs preferring Quality Time and/or Words of Affirmation is also supported by a survey conducted by Heidi Priebe. According to Priebe's survey, 35.67% of INFJs list “Quality Time” as their preferred love language.
In addition to being highly sensitive (sometimes to an extreme degree), many INFJs also struggle with high amounts of anxiety and depression. A lot of INFJs report that they experience a low-key depression running in the background of their lives, even when it appears that everything is going well on the surface.
What Do INFJs Do When They're Angry? A lot of things can influence how an INFJ will express their anger. Usually, they will get more withdrawn and stuck in their head when they're angry.
INFJs are not easy to read, but they can easily read others. INFJs pick up on other people's moods, energy or intentions and can read them like a book. But they hide their own feelings behind a poker face, so it's tough for others to read them.
INFJ INFJs actually do become very upset if their loved ones ignore them for a long time.
INFJs are unique not only because they are the rarest type, but because many people liken them to having a sixth sense, of sorts, because they often seem to leap intuitively to the correct answer, without having to know all of the facts beforehand.
When they're depressed or uninspired, they feel fatigued and drained. INFJs without a vision for the future feel listless and apathetic, as if they're lost in a fog and unable to find a light to guide them home.
INFP is the type most commonly mistaken for INFJ, and they use Ne as their co-pilot process. If Signs 1 and 5 are both sound true for you there's a very good chance you're an INFP. ENFPs lead with Ne and have Fi as their co-pilot.