We might be afraid of conflict, afraid of judgement, or feeling tired, hopeless, or unsure of how the other person will respond. Communicating an emotion that might not be shared by someone else leaves us feeling vulnerable. Vulnerability is vital for good communication. It's also scary.
Sometimes people struggle to upon up with others because of mental health challenges that they're dealing with. This could include things like an eating disorder, bipolar disorder, or other personality disorder. People with depression and anxiety may also struggle with opening up on a deeper level with people.
Alexithymia literally means “without words for emotions.” People with alexithymia typically have trouble processing their emotions. For instance, they may not recognize when they are having an emotional response, or if they do, they may not be able to label or describe their emotions.
Dysgraphia and expressive language disorder both affect language use and learning. Dysgraphia can make it hard to put thoughts in writing. Expressive language disorder can make it hard to express thoughts and ideas when speaking and writing. (You may hear it called a “language disorder” or a “communication disorder.”)
Fear is often the reason why people find it hard to express their emotions openly and honestly. We can learn how to express difficult emotions to others by first learning how to be emotionally vulnerable with ourselves.
Alexithymia refers to an inability to express or identify emotions. People with alexithymia feel the usual range of emotions, but they are less aware of their own emotions and the emotions of others. If your partner has alexithymia, there's a good chance they're unaware of their condition.
Specifically, among individuals with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and autism spectrum disorder (ASD). Researchers have estimated that 50% of people with ASD and over 40% of people with ADHD have co-occurring alexithymia (Bloch et al., 2021; Kiraz et al., 2020).
Participating in someone else's life and understanding their journey is at the core of how we connect with one another and how we function as a society. However, some of us may not feel the emotional connection as strongly as others, leading to a mental health condition known as emotional detachment disorder.
Signs of emotional unavailability include fear of intimacy, trouble expressing emotions, and commitment anxiety. “It's not something you can fix for them, nor is it something they can quickly and easily change about themselves for you,” Jernigan says.
Negative social experiences and overreliance on social media can make it more difficult to feel emotionally linked to other people. Sometimes a lack of connection might be related to the presence of a mental health condition such as anxiety or depression.
Past abuse, neglect, and trauma can contribute to emotional detachment. 1 Children who grow up in abusive situations may use this detachment as a way to cope.
Causes of Selective Mutism
Anxiety disorders or being too anxious because of stress. Poor home and family relationships. Early psychological problems that were not addressed properly. Low self-esteem issues.
Mental health conditions like depression, anxiety, and mood disorders can cause social withdrawal and isolation. Socialising can feel like a chore when you're struggling with your mental health, and it can be hard to be truly present with others when your mind feels messy.
Suppressing Emotions
Many with quiet BPD, especially those who experienced childhood trauma, hide their feelings because that is what they learned to do to survive when they were younger. You might believe your emotions are only acceptable if you appear in good spirits.
Emotional detachment can be frustrating to deal with, especially if you have ADHD, as you may have difficulty self-regulating your emotions.
If you have ADHD as well, this “shutdown” might sound familiar to you, too. You don't know where to start, there's too much to do, and you feel as though nothing can be done, because even just thinking of doing what you need to do feels like an insurmountable task.
People with ADHD are exquisitely sensitive to rejection and criticism. They can experience hopelessness and demoralization because they try to succeed by imitating the paths to success of people without ADHD, and then fail over and over again because the same paths don't work for them.
One of the most common symptoms of ADHD Masking is always putting forward a 'fine' expression. People with ADHD might say that they are fine even when they are not feeling okay. This is because they do not want to burden others with their problems and they also do not want to be seen as weak or vulnerable.
Clinical experience suggests it is the structural features of dreams more than the ability to recall them that best characterizes alexithymia. Some alexithymic individuals may appear to contradict the above-mentioned characteristics because they can experience chronic dysphoria or manifest outbursts of crying or rage.
In one of his first studies in this field, he linked alexithymia, as measured with a 20-item checklist developed at the University of Toronto, with a lack of empathy. If you can't feel your own emotions in the typical way, it makes sense that you can't identify with those of others, either.
Shutting down emotions can be a normal part of human experience, as a coping strategy in stressful situations. Under high stress, it allows your body and brain to protect itself from perceived threats or harm.
Intense emotions, such as anger, frustration, or sadness, can become overpowering and make it challenging to engage constructively in the conversation. Shutting down may be an automatic defense mechanism to protect oneself from further emotional distress.
Feeling tired or stressed
Simply being tired or fatigued can make it hard to think of the right words. And when you're worried about being judged by others or feel embarrassed, you may freeze up or struggle to talk.