Emotional detachment in marriage can be triggered by various factors, including unresolved conflicts, lack of communication, infidelity, emotional neglect, substance abuse, and mental health issues such as depression or anxiety.
It's normal for couples to feel some level of disconnect from time to time. It is important to acknowledge the disconnect and talk about it.
Temporary emotional detachment, especially when the reasons are beyond a couple's capacity to control them, is not necessarily a worry. If the partners stay in touch with each other and do not let fears stop their mutual compassion, they will most often reconnect as their resources grow again.
Relationships lose emotional intimacy for simple reasons like busy schedules or difficulty finding quality time together. Or there can be more emotionally-nuanced and complex reasons, from a lack of emotional safety, fear of vulnerability, or underlying tensions in the relationship.
There's a term for this: walkaway wife syndrome. This term is sometimes used to describe instances where a spouse – often the wife – has felt alone, neglected, and resentful in a deteriorating marriage and decides it's time to end it.
You feel like you're withdrawing from your partner, or you're not physically responsive to them. You ignore your partner. If you used to ask about their schedule or check-in during workdays but feel like you have lost interest, it could be a sign that things have changed. You don't argue anymore.
In the context of a marriage, the feelings of neglect, being left out, and not being heard are collectively referred to as emotional abandonment. It occurs when one partner is so preoccupied with their own concerns that they are unable to notice the struggles, concerns, or problems their partner is experiencing.
If both partners are willing to do the work and commit to the future of the relationship there may be reason to hang on. However, physical or emotional abuse, chronic cheating, illegality, differing opinions about having children, and addictions are very difficult to change and usually spell the end of the marriage.
There are a couple of reasons why this may have occurred. Pursuing and distancing are normal and common ways for couples to relate to one another when they are under stress. A problem occurs only when the pattern of pursuing and distancing gets entrenched and the pursuer and distancer become polarised in painful ways.
Partners will drift apart as their relationship matures, the challenges of life impact them, and when they don't give their relationship the attention it needs. Sometimes couples are emotionally distant because of a specific incident, such as a fight or cheating.
Be present and attentive, actively listen and empathize with your partner. Build intimacy through physical touch, quality time, and shared experiences. Celebrate your successes together, and support each other through tough times. Remember, a strong emotional connection takes effort, but it's worth it.
Red flags in a relationship include excessive jealousy and frequent lying. You should also be wary of a partner who frequently criticizes you or puts you down. Another major red flag is an unwillingness to compromise — relationships shouldn't be one-sided.
The average age for a couple entering their first divorce is 30 years old. And 60% of divorces involve spouses between the ages of 25 and 39. Women are more likely to file for divorce than men.
Stonewalling, one of the Four Horsemen, is Dr. John Gottman's term for one or both partners shutting down when feeling overwhelmed during conflict. Rather than confronting the issue, someone who is stonewalling will be unresponsive, making evasive maneuvers such as tuning out, turning away, or acting busy.
Stages of a Dying Marriage
A dying marriage is a marriage that is on the brink of ending. The stages of a dying marriage include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages are similar to the stages of a breakup but may take longer to complete.
But that doesn't mean loneliness in a marriage is necessarily normal. If you feel alone in a marriage, it's often a sign that there's an underlying issue in the relationship or in your own personal life that must be addressed.
Recognize that when a woman shuts down emotionally (or a man!) it is because she is trying to protect herself from getting hurt. Maybe she had a bad experience with a parent or former partner, and she is afraid to be yelled at or abused in some way. Shutting down emotionally is often a form of self-preservation.
If you are feeling lonely in your marriage, you can take steps to fix the problem. Talking to your spouse is an essential first step. Spending more time together can also help you feel more connected. Couples therapy can also be effective for improving different aspects of your relationship.
Besides no longer getting excited to spend time together, you may find yourself flat-out avoiding your partner. You may stay late at work, see movies or eat dinner by yourself, or even take the long way home to avoid being with your partner for a moment longer than you have to.
Sometimes, feeling unloved isn't due to anything our partner has done, but comes from inside ourselves. It's possible we are having low self esteem. Sometimes, it is an issue with the relationship or our partner. It's also likely we've not been able to communicate to our partner what we need to feel loved.
"Silent divorce refers to a gradual slow decline of a relationship whereby two people drift apart," says relationship therapist Beverley Blackman.
Al-Sherbiny [41] reported the “first wife syndrome,” where the first wife reported difficulties faced psychological, physical, and social problems among women in a polygamous marriage.
The author, Carin Rubenstein, has discovered that millions of wives think they do everything better than their husbands. They feel they are more responsible, more capable, and, in a word, superior.