It's really hard to understand why people cheat on people they love. Sometimes, people decide to cheat because they feel unloved, or like they have fallen out of love, with their partner. Sometimes, they feel the romance is gone from their relationship, and having an illicit romance gives them a sense of excitement.
It is absolutely possible that your partner does love you, did love you before, and will continue to love you in the future. Infidelity does not mean that the love is gone or never existed. The reality is that you can love someone and still cheat on them.
A simple desire to have sex can motivate some people to cheat. Other factors, including opportunity or unmet sexual needs, may also play a part in infidelity that's motivated by desire. But someone who wants to have sex might also look for opportunities to do so without any other motivators.
Summary. Micro-cheating involves participating in inappropriate intimate connections with others outside your relationship.
According to a 2017 survey of over 1,200 people by Illicit Encounters, a dating website for married people, 60% of women had previously forgiven a partner for cheating on them, while just 38% of men said they'd be up for forgiving a partner were they to cheat.
“Serial cheaters are essentially addicts,” she says. “They are addicted to the endorphins that come from falling in love (even if it's just for one night) and the adrenaline that comes with the potential for being caught.”
An analysis revealed eight key reasons: anger, self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, need for variety, neglect, sexual desire, and situation or circumstance.
For some, cheating is a way to explore repressed parts of the self. These cheaters don't actually want to change the core of who they are; they just want to escape the constraints of that for a little while. They're not looking for another person; they're looking for hidden versions of themselves. Insecurity.
According to the General Social Survey, men are more likely to cheat than women, with 20% of men and 13% of women reporting having sex with someone other than their partner while still married. However, the gender gap varies per age.
In some cases, it stems from unmet needs in a relationship. Issues like lack of communication, boredom, and personal insecurities can fester when they're not fully addressed. If one partner feels like they're never listened to or respected in their primary relationship, they may look for that in another person.
There are two main categories of infidelity: Physical and Emotional. An affair is generally considered to be a secondary relationship that is a combination of types and possibly fall under both main categories of physical and emotional infidelity.
The most important thing to remember is what cheating says about a person. They're insecure, impulsive, selfish, and immature. Sometimes, it's a chronic problem that likely won't ever be fixed, just be sure not to ignore the warning signs.
What a reader says: "Yes, you should always tell your partner, but not for your own peace of mind. Instead you should do it because the person you cheated on has the right to decide whether or not they should continue the relationship.
Lying And Cheating
Many people find they're not able to stay in a relationship with a partner who lies or cheats or both. Lying and cheating can become a cycle in toxic relationships. You might know that your partner is lying and cheating, but you still want to be with them anyway, or maybe you're too scared to leave.
Experts say it's possible for couples to go on to have a happy relationship after infidelity, provided they're willing to put in the work. “The couple can survive and grow after an affair,” says Coleman.
Forgivable: Cheating Before You're Committed
If cheating occurs before you and your partner have defined the relationship, it may be possible to forgive them for hooking up with someone else, or going on a few dates.
Also known as emotional-cheating, micro cheating falls under the umbrella of emotional infidelity and refers to small, seemingly insignificant things that a person can do that, while not explicitly unfaithful, can carry with them the hint of infidelity.
Women in their 60s report the highest rate of infidelity (16%), but the share goes down sharply among women in their 70s and 80s. By comparison, the infidelity rate among men in their 70s is the highest (26%), and it remains high among men ages 80 and older (24%).
Flirting is acting on attraction from a distance and trying to establish some type of connection with someone else. It can be considered emotional and mental cheating.
Usually, emotional infidelity starts with a harmless crush. But once we start to flirt and spend more time with someone we have our eye on, a relationship can develop that has romantic potential. Eventually, this opens the door to physical infidelity.