Cats calm down (or freeze) when you grab their scruff due to an instinctual reflex from kittenhood, mimicking how their mother carried them, but this reaction often shifts to stress or fear in adult cats, leading to a shutdown (learned helplessness) or potential pain/injury, so it's generally not recommended for adult handling. While kittens go limp to allow transport, an adult's stillness can signal high stress, not relaxation, and experts advise against scruffing adult cats for control.
It is an instinctual behavior. They go limp because when they are carried by the scruff in a parent's mouth, twisting and moving could cause damage, as well as distract the parent. It also works on adult cats to some degree. This makes sense.
It doesn't hurt them to hold the scruff of their neck, but if you hold up the cat this way once they are no longer small kittens it absolutely hurts them from the weight. Do not do this to juvenile and older cats, but it is okay to grab their scruff so long as it is not weight-bearing.
When holding your cat, pay attention to their body language to learn what they like and don't like. Be guided by them. Never pick a cat up by the scruff of their neck as this is incredibly uncomfortable for them. Although mum cats sometimes pick up their kittens in this way, it's not appropriate for humans to do so.
The top "silent killers" in cats are Chronic Kidney Disease (CKD), often progressing until 75% kidney failure, and Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy (HCM), a heart muscle disease, both often showing few symptoms until advanced stages, along with Hypertension (High Blood Pressure) and Hepatic Lipidosis (Fatty Liver), leading to sudden illness or organ failure if undetected. Early detection through regular vet check-ups, blood tests, and monitoring for subtle changes like increased thirst/urination, weight loss, or hiding is crucial for managing these common, often hidden, feline diseases, says this article.
The 3:3:3 Rule: Help Your New Cat Adjust to Their Home The 3:3:3 rule explains some general expectations for the transition process and some tips on how to support your cat through each stage: 3 days for initial acclimatization, 3 weeks for settling in, and by 3 months, they should be comfortable and at ease in their ...
Cats do remember negative experiences, but they don't dwell on resentment the way people do. Instead, they react based on learned associations and their need for safety. With patience, consistency, and care, most cats return to positive behaviors quickly.
To apologize to a cat, use a soft, calm tone of voice, offer treats or toys, engage in gentle play, and use slow blinks to build trust, focusing on actions and reassurance rather than words, as cats understand tone and trust more than human language. Give them space first, then approach calmly and let them initiate physical contact on their terms to rebuild your bond.
Cats are highly sensitive creatures, and their emotional well-being is closely tied to how they are handled. Scruffing can evoke fear or anxiety, which may lead to long-term behavioral issues such as hiding, aggression, or avoidance.
Most cats prefer petting on the cheeks, the temples and between the ears and eyes. The second favourite spots are other areas of the head — around the mouth and chin — and down the back and the chest.
Scruffing is sometimes used to control a cat during veterinary examinations or procedures where quick control is needed. It is crucial to note that scruffing should not be a routine handling technique and is generally reserved for specific situations to ensure the safety and comfort of both the cat and the handler.
Here are some things you should never do with cats: ❌ Don't hit, yell at, or punish them ❌ Don't rub their belly unless they trust you ❌ Don't ignore warning signs like hissing or swatting ❌ Don't force cuddles—they need personal space ❌ Don't declaw them, it's extremely painful and cruel ❌ Don't feed only dry food— ...
Cats cope much better when they feel they have the option of retreating open to them and a sense of being in control – scruffing a cat entirely removes both. So, it raises their stress, causing anxiety and fear, and can lead to distress.
Signs your cat has imprinted on you include following you everywhere, kneading you (making biscuits), rubbing against you (bunting), slow blinking, bringing you "gifts," grooming you, and showing you their vulnerable belly as a sign of deep trust and seeing you as family. They'll also greet you excitedly, sleep near or on you, and communicate with you using unique vocalizations.
Scruffing means firmly holding and lifting a kitten by the scruff, the skin on the back of their neck, to carry or control them. It causes the kitten to become momentarily immobilised, which seems like a convenient control setting. But scruffing beyond three months of age causes fear, pain and injury.
Cats "ekekeke" (chatter or chirp) due to intense predatory focus, expressing excitement, frustration, or even trying to mimic prey to lure them closer, often seen when watching birds or bugs through a window but also with toys, indicating their hunting instinct is kicking in. It's a sound of arousal and focus, sometimes seen as a rehearsal for the killing bite or an attempt to communicate with their target.
Cats can remember in the sense that they can begin to associate certain motions, people, and tones of voice (among other things) with pain, and so start to try and hide or run away when those stimuli occur. Just be extra mindful of his triggers. think about what happened before he got scared. did you raise your hand?
The most common mistakes are forcing a cat to be held or not supporting their body in a way that makes them feel comfortable and safe. According to our experts, cat parents should avoid: Picking up a cat by the scruff of the neck.
Cats will show you. If they don't want you to pick them up or hug them, they will run/walkaway/move or push you while hugging. Mine loves it if I pick him up and walk around with him while I pet him and he purrs. It's my fav moment too but sometimes he simply doesn't want that kind of attention.
Signs Your Cat Misses You
It's all in the subtleties. A meow that echoes through an empty house or a change in dining habits can be a feline's way of saying, "Where have you been?" Cats may also snuggle up to your worn clothes, finding comfort in your scent. It's like they're saying, "I knead you back home, human!"
After doing something naughty, cats might try to alter your response by rubbing against you, purring, bunting with their head, grooming you, or kneading you with their paws. They might not say sorry in a traditional or conventional way, but they sure do know how to change our mood.
Forcing an interaction with an angry cat can make them feel cornered, which increases their stress and aggression. Instead of pursuing or trying to calm them directly, move away and allow them to retreat to a quiet, safe area. Make sure they have access to a spot where they feel secure, and avoid blocking their exits.
To say "I love you" in cat language, use slow blinks, offer gentle head/cheek rubs (scent glands), let them initiate contact, provide interactive play, and simply share calm presence, mimicking their natural affection signals like grooming and trust-building.
Frequently Asked Questions. Will my cat forget me if I'm gone for two weeks? No, most cats have the ability to remember their owners over this period. Your scent, voice, and interactions play a significant role in their memory.