You can't sleep after your dog died due to the intense emotional stress, disruption of your routine (like missing their presence or scheduled walks), heightened anxiety, and the physical toll grief takes, all leading to disrupted sleep patterns like insomnia or oversleeping as your brain processes the loss of a deeply loved family member and companion.
Following a loss of a pet, symptoms of acute grief can last anywhere from one to two months, and on average, grief can persist for a full year.
Coping with the loss of a pet
Grief is immensely taxing on your body and takes a lot of work, and energy. Unfortunately, most grieving pet owners find that sleep can be extremely elusive. Trying to fall asleep can cause a focus on the distressing thoughts in the death and absence of our beloved pet, and our anxieties may rise.
Listen to something as you fall asleep
Silence can be overwhelming during grief, particularly at night. If you find that your mind is racing as it hits the pillow, or that you can't stop your brain from going to places you don't want it to, you might want to try listening to something as you sleep.
Grief at the cellular level
It is entirely possible to experience something called broken-hearted syndrome over the death of a pet. This is an intense surge of stress hormones related to an emotional event and causes chest pain and shortness of breath, and in some cases, acute cardiac events.
In general, death of a child is the most difficult kind of loss, and bereaved family members are at elevated risk for depression and anxiety for close to a decade after the loss. In addition these parents are at risk for a range of physical illnesses.
This triggers what most people know as the "fight or flight" response. Stress hormones course throughout the body. "Your heart starts racing, your blood pressure increases, your respiratory rate increases, you become sweaty, as the body marshals defenses for you to protect yourself, one way or another," Shulman said.
Symptoms
Absolutely. It's perfectly natural to be overcome by grief and sadness when you lose a dog. Your dog loved you and you loved them back. Their big personality was an enormous part of your life and your routine, so of course you're going to mourn them.
This loss extends beyond the furry companionship; it intertwines with every facet of our lives. “Whether your cat or dog is keeping you company in the bathroom or being there 24/7, the intensity of caretaking for animals magnifies just before they depart. It's like your whole life has been shredded.”
Just like after losing a human loved one, the five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—can provide a framework for understanding the complex emotions experienced after the loss of a pet.
Acknowledge your grief, and give yourself permission to express it. Allow yourself to cry. If you live alone, the silence in your home might feel deafening, but acknowledging it will allow you to prepare for the emotions you might feel. Suppressing your feelings of sadness can prolong your grief.
When grieving, don't suppress emotions, isolate yourself, rush the process, or use substances to numb pain; instead, allow yourself to feel, stay connected with supportive people, and seek professional help if needed, as grief has no timeline and everyone experiences it uniquely. Avoid platitudes like "everything happens for a reason" or "they're in a better place," and don't make major decisions too soon. Focus on self-care, even if it's basic, and accept that grief is messy, not linear.
Even when you know it was the most compassionate choice, it's common to feel guilt, self-doubt, and sadness. You might wonder if you acted too soon, if your pet knew how much you loved them, or if there was something else you could have done.
When people are grieving, their sleep is often affected. They may have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep and the overwhelming fatigue and emotional exhaustion that grief brings can leave them physically and emotionally depleted.
For some, denial or anger is the hardest while others may struggle with bargaining. Depression, however, often lasts the longest and someone is most at risk of experiencing prolonged, destructive grief during this phase.
When you carry grief, it doesn't just stay as a feeling; it becomes something your body holds. This can look like tension in your shoulders, a heaviness in your chest, or even digestive issues. Grief trauma can live in any part of you and show up when you least expect it.
The 40-day period holds spiritual and cultural meaning in many traditions, often symbolizing a time of reflection, remembrance, and honoring the soul's journey. Emotions during this time may shift—from initial shock to deeper sorrow or quiet acceptance—as the reality of the loss settles in.
When someone says their grief is unbearable, we understand they are overwhelmed by their sense of loss. A person suffering from an intolerable loss may find it difficult, if not impossible, to think about anything else or take action to change their current circumstances.
The death of a husband or wife is well recognized as an emotionally devastating event, being ranked on life event scales as the most stressful of all possible losses.
Coping with the pain of grief can often feel overwhelming, and you may experience many difficult and confusing emotions – from shock and disbelief to guilt and even anger. This in turn may affect your physical health, causing problems eating, sleeping or even carrying out everyday tasks.
The study suggests that many people experience significant attachment to their pets/animals and experience significant features of grief reactions (about 20%) after the death of a pet/animal. However, the percentage of people experiencing major pathological disruption is relatively low (<5%-12%).
Broken heart syndrome (takotsubo cardiomyopathy) is a sudden weakness in your heart muscle. This happens right after a physically or emotionally stressful event. The condition can last a few days or weeks.