The only reason that narcissists are “nice” to others is to maintain a public persona that allows them to get as much validation, admiration, and reassurance that they need to support their fragile sense of self.
Sense of Superiority
One of the common ways narcissists manage their shaky sense of self-esteem is by comparing themselves to others and convincing themselves that they are better. So, by being or appearing as giving and helpful, they can feel superior to others.
They can come across as sweet and innocent, even shy and introverted, and can also seem very caring and helpful.
Can Narcissists Be Affectionate? Absolutely. As you probably know, most narcissists are quite affectionate during the love-bombing phase. In fact, they tend to be too loving and overbearing when you first begin dating.
Narcissists are happy when they are receiving validation, recognition, admiration, or getting their way. What is this? Their emotions are very shallow, so it is very easy for them to go from happy to angry to sad very quickly.
The only reason that narcissists are “nice” to others is to maintain a public persona that allows them to get as much validation, admiration, and reassurance that they need to support their fragile sense of self.
Most narcissists enjoy an irrational and brief burst of relief after having suffered emotionally ("narcissistic injury") or after having sustained a loss. It is a sense of freedom, which comes with being unshackled.
Narcissists can and do love, but their love tends to be superficial and fleeting. They can develop intense emotional attachments—even appearing to "fall in love"—and yet still maintain a complete lack of empathy for the object of their affection.
One effective way that a narcissist can draw someone back into their realm is to say, “I love you.” If you're especially important to a narcissist, they'll say and do just about anything to get you back, including using those powerful three words.
They may be telling you that they love you because they so desperately want you to love them. This is a part of the love bombing stage of the narcissistic relationship. They want you to feel valued, idealized, and perfect for them so that you will feel the same way about them.
Narcissists are so hungry for praise that they assume others are as well. They may tell you that you are special, that only you understand them, or that only you know how to take care of them. In truth, narcissistic flattery is not based on who you really are. Narcissists rarely see who others are.
Narcissists use sex and the pretence of emotion to control others. They like to be in control, and often derive pleasure from giving or withdrawing sex or affection to this end. 10. Narcissists are not really capable of feeling guilty, and feel no shame about lying if they think that it will get them what they want.
They love attention
Narcissists love attention and will do whatever it takes to get it. They are often extremely flirty. Relationships involving a narcissist will usually come along with frequent fights about jealousy, flirtation, or cheating.
First, narcissists usually have overly positive self-views, especially of their own physical appearance (Buffardi and Campbell 2008;Buss and Chiodo 1991). They make much account of their physical appearance (Davis et al. 2001) and usually overestimate their attractiveness (Bleske-Rechek et al.
Key points. Narcissists are more likely to be highly extraverted, want to be the center of attention, and are more disagreeable than others. Researchers have found that narcissists tend be more physically attractive than average.
In fact, the love language of the narcissist is to get you to do all the work of the relationship. They feel “loved” when you are proving your love and loyalty. They believe you are invested into the relationship when you invest more into them than you invest in you.
Gaslighters/narcissists can never fully compliment someone unless there is an insult tied to it. In broad terms, it's sometimes known as a “backhanded compliment.” An example would be, “I like your dress, it almost fits you.” The compliment-insult, or complisult, first sets you up, trusting the person ever so slightly.
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
Narcissists are attracted to certain types of people. Rather than weak, vulnerable people, they tend to go for the strong-willed and talented. They are also attracted to people who reflect well on themselves.
Narcissists are masterful impression managers: Thanks largely to their intense self-obsession and self-adulation, narcissists excel at managing initial impressions. They care a lot about their appearance and dress to impress, which signals status and makes them attractive.
The narcissist chooses to marry the person they believe they can have the most control over. This isn't meant to victim blame and to say the partner or spouse has done anything wrong. The narcissist knows that other people are caring and want to please, so they look for people that have these qualities.
For someone with narcissism, they fantasize about having unlimited power, success, beauty, and love. They see things in extremes. Everything is over the top and they deserve the best of everything. By having unlimited success, power, brilliance, or love, they can maintain the belief they are superior to others.
Unexpected Generosity
Some people fit this description. Others are much the opposite, though. Many narcissists pride themselves on being expert lovers who can give a partner multiple orgasms and the best experience of their lives.
People with narcissism tend not to like seeing other people happy. When they see you happy, the best thing you can do is to stay firm on your boundaries, focus on the present and what makes you happy, and avoid getting into arguments. They might try to hurt you to disrupt your peace and justify their actions.