They crave deep mental and emotional connections with others; proximity or just a few shared interests won't cut it. This is especially true when it comes to love and dating. As a result, INFJs can really struggle to find Mr. or Mrs. Right.
#3: INFJs look for long-term commitment
In fact, INFJs are a personality type that takes dating very seriously. From an INFJ's point of view, this all-or-nothing approach makes sense. After all, it can take a long time for an INFJ to trust someone and open up to them.
You won't settle for anyone other than your dream person
This is one of the main reasons why INFJs are still single. As an INFJ, you are always striving to find someone who can connect with you mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually to a very intimate degree (Granneman, 2019).
Alone time
This is not because INFJs are antisocial. Rather, alone time is as nourishing as food and water to the INFJ. It allows them to clear away the chatter of the world and focus on their own thoughts and feelings. It gives them time to reflect on their lives and process what they've experienced.
Although there are exceptions to this rule, INFJs aren't usually the types who go for flings, one-night stands, or meaningless sexual romps. They are looking for someone who will stick with them through the good and bad and who will want a deeper and more purposeful relationship.
Kindness. As sensitive personalities, INFJs feel attracted to people who show kindness towards others.
INFJs preferring Quality Time and/or Words of Affirmation is also supported by a survey conducted by Heidi Priebe. According to Priebe's survey, 35.67% of INFJs list “Quality Time” as their preferred love language.
They avoid conflict instead of resolving it.
INFJs are extremely conflict avoidant, which is a key reason why they struggle to maintain their romantic relationships. Instead of addressing problems when they arise, the INFJ tends to allow resentment to fester. Once it builds up, they explode or slam the door.
INFJs dislike crowds.
These types of outings are usually socially draining, and they tend to lack the meaningful connection that INFJs crave. Most INFJs recognize that their aversion to social situations prevents them from making new friends.
INFJs are, in many ways, an emotional sponge. Wired to think about feelings, relationships, and what's best for people, we tend to absorb the emotions of others even in the best of times. Unsurprisingly, that can leave us pretty exhausted — and that's true even if the feelings we're picking up are mostly positive ones.
INFJs are most likely to marry someone who shares their values and vision for the future, regardless of their personality type. INFJs are more likely to marry someone who values emotional depth and intimacy and is dedicated to personal growth and development.
In the world of personality theory, the INTP and INFJ pairing has been nicknamed “The Golden Pair” because these two types can be highly compatible.
At just 1.5% of the US population, INFJs can be hard to find. Some of us will go our entire lives without running into one! But if you're bound and determined to encounter this, the rare blue diamond of personality types, here are some ways to increase your chances.
INFJs are so concerned with maintaining harmony and improving the moods and emotions of others, that they can leave their own emotions and feelings untended. As a result, they can wind up feeling overloaded with other people's feelings and lost and alone when managing their own.
INFJs can appear very awkward when their intuition kicks in and they start reading into a situation. For instance, if someone is being sweeter to the boss than usual, you may infer that they are doing it to get ahead at work.
Crowds, noise, frequent interruptions - INFJs need their personal space and may experience great anxiety if they have too much contact with people in one day. Faced with such provocations, there's a risk that you will spread yourself so thin responding to other people's problems that you neglect your own needs.
When I surveyed INFJs about their flirting styles, more than anything, they expressed a deep desire to connect emotionally with someone they liked. They will be more emotionally open, express more of their deeper longings, and become more vulnerable with you if they like you.
They tend to be private about their feelings and can feel flustered as children if they cry, get angry, or otherwise lose control. INFJs feel insecure when they receive criticism or are faced with conflict or confrontation.
Since they're so tuned into their emotions (and the emotions of others), INFJs often seem too sensitive to other people. Since they're sensitive, they're more likely to share their emotions with people close to them. Unfortunately, some people read their sensitivity as weakness instead of caring.
At their best, INFJs make modest, reliable teammates, and allow others to take the lead. INFJs may undervalue their own needs, ideas, and contributions, acting overly shy and not taking credit when due. At their worst, INFJs can be excessively submissive, ineffectual, and too dependent on direction from others.
In a word—No. First of all—to fall in love requires relationship—and I as a woman would not pursue getting to know a man ever unless he started conversing with me. Then there has to be attraction—which for an INFJ is not physical.
Communication takes precedence – the idea being that with open and honest communication, almost any other challenge can be navigated – but other things that INFJs need to be satisfied in a relationship include respect (especially for their Ni insights), semi-regular expression of love/affirmation, willingness from ...