Golden child syndrome, or being a “golden child,” is a term typically used by family, and most often by parents, to refer to a child in the family that's regarded as exceptional in some way. The golden child is expected to be extraordinary at everything, not make mistakes, and essentially be “perfect.”
The selection of the golden child has nothing to do with who was born first etc.
What is a golden child? "When people use the term 'golden child' or 'golden child syndrome,' they are referring to a child who has been deemed by their family—most often the parents—to be exceptional in one way or another, but without a foundation for the attributed exceptionalism," explains Smith.
The golden child is often chosen for the role because they possess some qualities or abilities that would reflect well on the narcissist. They may be the most attractive of their children, do well in school, or have some potential in a skill such as a sport or musical instrument.
Being a golden child can have harmful effects later in life. For one, it often affects relationships in terms of connection and boundaries, Roberts says. "On the one hand, the grown-up golden child might become excessively attached to another person, not knowing where they begin and end.
“Parents tend to favour a child that is most like them, reminds them of themselves, or represents what they view as a success of parenting,” she says. “Younger children are most likely to have been raised by a parent who, over time and experience, is more confident and skilled in their child-raising.”
Scapegoating as a Form of Projection
For example, biological children might be treated differently from stepchildren or adopted children in the home. Only children of dysfunctional and abusive parents report that they are sometimes the golden child, and other times, the scapegoat.
In the dysfunctional narcissistic family system, the golden child is the most likely to develop a narcissistic personality. Sibling abuse by a favored narcissistic brother usually follows a predictable pattern of behavior. There are strategies that can help protect you from a narcissistic brother's abuse.
MD. A “golden child” is one who is considered “special” by their family and chosen as a proxy for a parent's own achievements and magnificence. Unfortunately, the child must live up to perhaps unattainable levels of accomplishment and perfection.
“Parents may favor one child over another, for a lot of reasons. The child may have an easy temperament or might behave particularly well. They may look like you, or remind you of a favorite relative,” says Susan Newman, Ph.
Although the Golden Child is referred to as a boy throughout the film, J.L. Reate is actually a girl.
“Firstborn children can be goal-oriented, outspoken, stubborn, independent, and perfectionistic,” Smelser says, and when you look at the way firstborns are nurtured, it starts to make sense why. “These traits are often reinforced by parents through their interactions with the child,” she says.
Based on psychodynamic theory, it was hypothesized that firstborn children were expected to score highest, but statistical significance was not found for an association between narcissism and birth order.
They play favorites.
They may have a golden child who they compliment excessively, for example, while speaking badly about another child in the family. This can make children feel uncomfortable, disloyal and psychologically unsafe.
Social learning theory holds that children are likely to grow up to be narcissistic when their parents overvalue them: when their parents see them as more special and more entitled than other children (9).
Since the golden child has been trained to be an actor, they fail to embrace an authentic relationship with their sibling, scapegoat. There will always be sibling rivalry, which not only have they instigated but they appreciate it since it causes the separation.
A scapegoated child may feel isolated to the point that they do not know how to bring attention to the pain they are feeling. In these cases, self-harm or self-sabotaging behaviors could help to draw attention to their suffering.
Sometimes the golden child can become another narcissist. Indoctrinated into the worldview of the damaged parent, the chosen one absorbs emotional damage alongside the attention. Despite what most scapegoats will tell you, golden children are usually the more severely traumatised in narcissistic families.
Some golden children might get too clingy in relationships. They may be poor at setting boundaries or rely too much on their partner's validation. This can push a partner away, creating a greater urge for validation. Another major drawback of golden child syndrome can be low self-esteem.
Experts say a glass child is typically emotionally neglected; experience severe pressure to be problem-free and perfect; take on parental responsibilities within the family at a young age; and have an overwhelming need to make others happy.
The penalty for failure is criticism and disappointment from parents and other caregivers. And very often, the Golden Child interprets this as a withdrawal of love. Love therefore becomes conditional. The agreement is this: The child succeeds, and the parents in return bestow their love.
Parents with two children who admit to having a favourite overwhelmingly (62%) prefer the youngest. Only 30% say they prefer the eldest.
While the youngest sibling is usually the funniest kid, mom and dad favor the youngest for a reason that might surprise you. According to a new study conducted by Brigham Young University's School of Family Life, the youngest sibling of the family tends to be mom and dad's favorite child because of perception.
Both mothers and fathers are perceived as favoring genetically-related children. The results also suggest that the birth order of the parental favorite varies with the birth order of the participant. Firstborns and lastborns report a pattern of favoritism that suggests parents favor firstborn and lastborn children.