So why can't we let go of people who continually reject us? According to Helen Fisher and her colleagues, the reason romantic rejection gets us hooked is that this sort of rejection stimulates parts of the brain associated with motivation, reward, addiction, and cravings.
More often than not, when we're really attracted to someone, but they don't like us nearly as much in return, it's because we are in that space of insecurity, neediness and unworthiness. We feel like we're not good enough and we're nervous about being rejected.
Romantic rejection can lead to increased yearning because it stimulates parts of the brain associated with motivation, reward, addiction, and cravings. New research also suggests the reasoning individuals fall for the unavailable may actually be scientific, some people cant help it.
We'll get right to it: The most effective way to stop being attracted to someone who isn't good for you is to use the mental technique of refocusing. When you think about that person or are with them and feel the pull, you need to replace your existing thoughts with other healthier thoughts.
“What shapes who we choose as a romantic partner is our relationships with our primary caretakers as kids,” Los Angeles-based psychologist Sarah Schewitz tells Talkspace. “We're unconsciously searching for somebody who has a conglomeration of negative and positive traits of the caretakers from our childhood.”
The feeling of being attracted to someone involves your physical senses, your hormones, your nerves, and even your immune system. It can be sparked by a wide variety of cues, from the shape of another person's face to the particular way they smell.
Why we feel instant attraction to some people, and not others, is affected by lots of different things: mood, hormones and neurotransmitters, how alike we are, the shortage of other partners available, looks, physical excitement, and the proximity of geographical closeness.
They find ways to spend time with you
You try to find excuses to spend time with them as well. And when you meet up, you will sense they have eyes and ears for you and you alone. They will take the lead to make plans with you. They will listen to all your stories no matter how long or boring or detailed they are.
Unspoken attraction is when two people feel attracted to each other, but they do not say it aloud. This attraction exists based on subtle or clear physical behaviors both parties exhibit when they are close to each other.
You may just be getting the “sensation” of being in love without real risk. These relationships don't have a lot of depth or vulnerability. You don't have to know your partner on a deeper level, and he doesn't get to know you, either. You satisfy your longing for connection along with your need to protect yourself.
You could be attracted to someone you hate simply because they have physical traits you find attractive. Sex is the focus, not a relationship. But there are other relationships that are essentially re-enactments of traumas (and blessings) you picked up from your parents when you were learning what love was.
Rejection can take a major toll on your self-esteem and often leads to deep emotional wounds and wounds in your spirit that open up doors that cause you to experience other negative emotions, including depression, fear, doubt, isolation, self-pity, suicidal thoughts, people pleasing, double-mindedness, eating disorders ...
Some obsessions can stem from an experience with someone that affects an individual so much that they become fanatical about that person. This condition – often referred to as an “obsessive love disorder” (OLD)– occurs when someone mistakes feelings of obsession for feelings of love.
The answer is Dopamine. A drug like chemical that pulsates the body in search of pleasure. The dopamine-driven reward loop triggers a rush of euphoric drug-like highs when chasing a crush and the desire to experience them repeatedly.
Difficulty in feeling attraction to someone could be due to various factors, including sexuality, depression, side effects of medication, or a lack of confidence in the ability to choose a partner wisely. Or, it could mean you haven't found the right person to inspire feelings of sexual desire yet.
It happens on the subconscious level, so you don't proactively select who you're attracted to. In fact, we all have the potential to be attracted to an extremely wide array of people, but we typically only allow ourselves to be consciously attracted to a small minority of people, he says.
If the attraction is mutual between you and another person, you'll likely want to talk to each other rather frequently. You may also compliment each other frequently. You might also find yourselves trying to make each other laugh and taking any chance possible to strike up a conversation with the other person.
A strong connection to someone you barely know is usually characterized by your ability to read their non-verbal cues, even more than usual. You can tell when they are happy, sad, irritated, or satisfied with something. Considering this mental state, it is even easier to get along with them.
Intense romantic chemistry is hard to cover no matter how much you try. If the connection between two people is really strong, then yes, other people can sense the chemistry between them.
If you have been wondering, “When you feel attracted to someone do they feel it too,” you might be under much stress. Well, the simple answer is, “Yes!” Many times, people can sense when someone is attracted to them. This feeling that exists between two people is frequently referred to as “chemistry” or a “spark.”
This feeling is what we usually call chemistry between people, or "the spark"—a twinkle in the eye, a skipped heartbeat, or flushed cheeks that indicate two people are truly connecting.
Chemistry is born of several different factors like physical attraction, mental stimulation, shared values and interests. The list goes on.
The vibe you experience in another person's company is actually your energy reacting and responding to theirs. Therefore, sometimes you experience an unexplainable metaphysical connection with someone. You're simply attracted to the energy they embody.