While there's no argument that everyone endures the pain of divorce in one way or another, many people may be surprised to hear that, according to research, men have a much more difficult time with a split than women.
Divorce Hurts Men More Psychologically
A single man's suicide risk is 39 percent higher than a married man's risk. Suicidal men are also more likely to end their lives than suicidal women. There are a few reasons why divorce is more difficult for men psychologically than it is for women.
Statistics show that while women initiate divorce almost twice the rate that men do, women are also much more likely to greatly struggle financially after divorce. This is particularly true if children are involved.
In the survey participants were asked to rate their happiness before and after their divorce. During a 20 year period, researchers found that women were happier and more satisfied with their lives after divorce.
According to a survey, 39% of men regret being divorced. But it is not as simple as it seems. This statistic has many layers to it – for example, a man who has committed marital wrongdoing that triggered the divorce may regret the event, but a man who has been wronged during the marriage may not regret it.
In a study done by Pennsylvania State University, the top reasons men listed for divorce was incompatibility, infidelity, lack of communication and personality problems.
The study surveyed 10,000 men and women over the course of two decades. Participants were asked to rate their own happiness before and after major milestones in their lives. Although men also felt slightly happier after their divorce was final, the increase was much less marked.
Men Are More Likely to Remarry
The rate for women was significantly lower, at only 19.4 per 1,000 women eligible for remarriage. This data indicates that men are consistently more likely to attempt a second marriage than women. Over the past decade, there has been a decline in remarriage rates for both men and women.
The study found that on average unhappily married adults who divorced were no happier than unhappily married adults who stayed married when rated on any of 12 separate measures of psychological well-being. Divorce did not typically reduce symptoms of depression, raise self-esteem, or increase a sense of mastery.
While some may be happier after a divorce, research indicates most adults that divorce have lower levels of happiness and more psychological distress compared to married individuals. Divorce can bring up new conflicts between couples that cause more tension than when they were married.
Research indicates life after divorce for men is more traumatic than it is for women, taking a more significant emotional toll as well as sparking physical deterioration. Women file for divorce 70% of the time, and when it's a shock, with no time to prepare — that has a marked impact on how men handle divorce.
It is no surprise, then, that marital infidelity is a leading cause of divorce. Just how common is marital infidelity? According to a study from the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, as many as 25 percent of married men and 15 percent of married women have had extramarital affairs.
Women also tend to experience that stress longer than men because after the divorce they tend to take more time before remarrying as well as suffer harder financial hits. Effects other than heart attacks are pretty much the same as men.
On average, a third of divorced couples regret their decision to end their marriage. In a 2016 survey by Avvo.com, researchers interviewed 254 women and 206 men and asked how they felt about their divorce. They found out that 27% of women and 32% of men found themselves regretting divorce.
Indeed, married people are happier than unmarried people: across nearly five decades of surveys, data from the GSS shows that 36% of people who have ever been married (including divorced, separated, and widowed people) say they are “very happy” while just 11% are “not too happy,” compared to 22% and 15% for people who ...
Men may find themselves holding onto a marriage that has gone past its expiration date for fear of being alone. Starting over again in relationships when you are not ready to hit the singles scene can feel extremely intimidating. Divorce can really damage a man's self-worth and hope in finding someone else.
Divorce puts a strain on the financial, social, and emotional relationships of the partners. This time particularly can be devastating for women who may lose confidence, be forced into custody issues, and may lose hope of ever finding happiness again. Some women find it hard to return to their normal self again.
Oftentimes, people say the best age for a child to go through a divorce is when they are young. Kids who are three or under don't have much cognitive function yet and won't have fond memories of parents that are together.
With an uncontested divorce, there will be no trial. In fact, you may not have to appear in court at all. If you and your spouse can come to terms that you both agree on, an uncontested divorce is the best option. It's one of the simplest types of divorce and will require less time and money to complete.
While second marriages have been shown to have a higher divorce rate, many remarried women and relationship experts find that things can be much better the second time around.
While many couples see remarriage as a second chance at happiness, the statistics tell a different story. According to available Census data, the divorce rate for second marriages in the United States is over 60% compared to around 50% for first marriages.
Essentially, second wife syndrome when a second wife, or partner, of someone with kids feels marginalized, left out, and unimportant within the family dynamic.
Typically, a man's first reaction to a marriage ending is anger. And it can be self-directed. Lots of divorced guys start smoking and drinking more. And many jump way too quickly into new relationships — relationships that are usually doomed.
After a divorce, it's easy for guys to let themselves become isolated, especially if the ex gets custody of the kids. That's another big mistake. It can worsen feelings of depression, guilt, and loneliness, a potentially dangerous mix. Divorced men are twice as likely to commit suicide as married men.
Anger is a common emotion to feel during the divorce experience. It speaks to the intensity of affection you had during your marriage, and when that ended, there was no other way to express the sudden change in the physical, mental, and emotional makeup of your life.