Chemistry is the emotional connection that two people feel when they have feelings for each other. Chances are, if you are feeling it, they are feeling it too! It can sometimes be difficult to decipher whether the other person is feeling the same way as you are.
That spark can show itself in multiple different ways, varying per person and per relationship. It can also take time to develop! Just because you don't feel a spark right away, doesn't mean you won't eventually. You may have felt a different kind of spark with someone, and that is just as special.
You're attracted to them and believe they like you too. You can't be too sure, though. After all, there's no way to tell whether or not someone is interested in you. Some physical and behavioral symptoms may indicate that something is present, but don't make any assumptions until they come to you and express something.
Key Takeaways. The instant attraction and that ”spark” you feel with someone is a tell-tale sign of chemistry between you two. If you find yourself making intense eye contact, flirting, and always smiling at someone, you probably have good chemistry with them.
Romantic chemistry focuses on characteristics present between two people, including mutual interests, similarity, and intimacy. According to Kelly Campbell, P.h.D., the more present these characteristics are, the more likely two individuals will perceive chemistry between each other.
And while physical attraction can vary in time and can be influenced by lots of external factors (such as images from the media, peer pressure or cultural background), chemistry is actually really about the biochemistry of the brain. It is an entirely unconscious phenomenon between two people.
Why we feel instant attraction to some people, and not others, is affected by lots of different things: mood, hormones and neurotransmitters, how alike we are, the shortage of other partners available, looks, physical excitement, and the proximity of geographical closeness.
Everything is going right, and fun is happening over 90 percent of the time.” For most people, the honeymoon phase lasts between six months and two years, but there is no hard and fast rule for how long you should be in this phase.
Watch for Their Eye Gaze
Like touch, eye contact triggers the release of oxytocin. When someone is attracted to you, they subconsciously will try engaging in lots of mutual eye contact. They do this to feel closer to you, and because they are interested in you and what you are saying.
Lust. This describes intense feelings of passion, desire, affection, or attraction toward someone.
A mutual attraction occurs when two people are attracted to each other. This could mean that you both tell each other how you feel, or you may have an unspoken mutual attraction. A good rule of thumb is to tell someone you like them and see how they react.
Sometimes instant chemistry is actually a red flag, not a green light. Our subconscious is very good at detecting people who feel like 'home' - those who can wound us in a familiar way. We can confuse the intense energy as love when it's anxiety and an activated nervous system.
Feeling of Presence, or FoP, is the disconcerting notion that someone else is hovering nearby, walking alongside you or even touching you. It's the stuff of ghost stories, but also a real symptom of several neurologic conditions, including schizophrenia and Alzheimer's disease.
High levels of dopamine and a related hormone, norepinephrine, are released during attraction. These chemicals make us giddy, energetic, and euphoric, even leading to decreased appetite and insomnia – which means you actually can be so “in love” that you can't eat and can't sleep.
Three dates is a good rule of thumb.
This isn't a hard and fast rule, but let's say you spend two to three hours together on each date, with some emailing, texting, or phone time in between. That's a pretty fair amount of time together. If you're not feeling any sense of chemistry or attachment, it's OK to give up.
“When you see an attractive person, the left ventral tegmental area of the brain becomes active and will pump out dopamine,” says Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist who studies attraction at the Kinsey Institute.
The chemistry between people can be seen in body language or subtle ways, such as eye contact, flirting, banter, constant focus, and losing track of time. If you have chemistry with someone, you can often feel it in your gut.
We can build chemistry by laughter and shared values, someone who speaks our love language and makes us feel seen, heard and understood. This might explain why the experience of having chemistry with someone can feel so good. Excitement meets craving more time spent with that person.
Contrary to prevailing gender tropes, many men crave deeper emotional connection, work hard for it and don't always receive it in return.
Despite popular belief, men have feelings too. I can tell you, as a dating coach, Denver therapist, online life coach and marriage counselor specializing in emotional intelligence, that I've worked with many, many men, and they have just as many feelings and emotional intimacy needs as women do.