Contact the bereaved person as soon as possible after their loved one's death. This contact could be a personal visit, telephone call, text message, sympathy card or flowers. Attend the funeral or memorial service if you can. They need to know that you care enough to support them through this difficult event.
Although you might not feel like texting is the best way to reach out to comfort someone who's grieving, sometimes it's the most appropriate way to offer your condolences.
If you are a close friend or relative: Call or text immediately, find a time to visit the bereaved at home, and continue to stay in touch on a daily basis. If you are a casual friend or extended friend: Send an email or text immediately and follow up after the funeral.
Keep it simple
It's the heart and intention that matter most. It's acceptable to simply use the phrase, “I'm sorry for your loss” if it's said with genuine care and concern. Remember, there are no words that can take away the pain of loss. There are, however, words that can help people feel less alone.
Sending the text can be done any time after you hear about the passing. Even if it has been a few days, if you are just learning about the death, it is appropriate to offer your condolences. One thing to know is to not be offended if your friend does not text you back.
One way to help a grieving friend feel less alone is to simply remind them that you care. Ask how they are doing today. Tell them you're ready for their real answer—fine, terrible, a shrug—without judgement. This lets your friend know they can let their guard down and that you're there for them.
If you text several times a week with the person, expressing condolences about their loss would be appropriate. In fact, it might appear to be neglectful if you would choose not to respond that way. But, it is recommended to also send a card and/or attend the funeral or memorial service to the extent possible.
Weeks After Death
Even if a lot of time has passed, it is never too late to call and say, “I've been thinking about you. How is it going?” Encourage the mourner to eat well, sleep well, exercise and minimize the use of alcohol.
Why Do People Push Loved Ones Away After a Death? Pushing loved ones away when grieving usually results from dealing with the significance of a tremendous loss. Withdrawing from others is sometimes easier to do for a bereaved person than facing their pain and suffering head-on.
Nearly all experts say to wait at least six months to a year after a death or divorce before making big lifestyle changes like moving. Sometimes it is just not possible to allow yourself that much time.
The first stage of human decomposition is called autolysis, or self-digestion, and begins immediately after death. As soon as blood circulation and respiration stop, the body has no way of getting oxygen or removing wastes. Excess carbon dioxide causes an acidic environment, causing membranes in cells to rupture.
One final bit of advice, “Don't tell a grieving person how to feel. They may need to be vulnerable. They may need to cry for days on end,” wrote Kathryn Janus. In other words, don't say things like, “Stay strong” or “Be strong.”
Tell family members and friends about the death. Employer or educational establishments. Health professionals.
The first, called “shiva,” meaning “seven,” takes place over the seven days immediately following the funeral. During shiva, the family gathers every day in a family home to mourn and pray. For seven days, family members do not go to work or participate in the routine of their normal lives.
A funeral is typically held around one or two weeks after the death, though it may be longer if the funeral director only has certain days available or if there is an inquest into the death. You may wish for your loved one to be buried as soon as possible, depending on their religious beliefs.
Is it rude not to respond to a condolence message? No. It is perfectly fine to receive care and not respond.
1. Check in on them. Make an effort to check in with your friend, even if it is a quick phone call, a card or an invitation to grab a coffee together. You might be surprised how much your check-ins mean to a friend who is grieving.
For the first few minutes of the postmortem period, brain cells may survive. The heart can keep beating without its blood supply. A healthy liver continues breaking down alcohol. And if a technician strikes your thigh above the kneecap, your leg likely kicks, just as it did at your last reflex test with a physician.
By three days, internal organs have decomposed. From three to five days after death, the body will begin to bloat from gasses produced from internal decomposition. The body could actually double in size and turn a greenish color. Extremely unpleasant and long-lasting odors called putrification begins.
In time, the heart stops and they stop breathing. Within a few minutes, their brain stops functioning entirely and their skin starts to cool. At this point, they have died.