A narcissist is unable to experience positive and negative emotions at the same time, so they must split the two to ensure they are kept separate. A person or situation is viewed as either good or bad, and not both. For a narcissist, a person is either placed on a pedestal, or is viewed as unimportant.
It is essential to recognize that narcissistic splitting is a symptom of a personality disorder, not a personal failing. However, setting boundaries and protecting yourself from their toxic behavior is also important. This may involve seeking therapy for yourself or encouraging the narcissist to seek professional help.
To an observer, the narcissist appears to be fractured or discontinuous. Pathological narcissism has been compared to Dissociative Identity Disorder (formerly the Multiple Personality Disorder). By definition, the narcissist has at least two selves. His personality is very primitive and disorganized.
A person experiencing a narcissistic collapse may engage in impulsive, risky behaviors such as excessive drinking or substance abuse, unprotected sex, rage outbursts, or self-harm.
Splitting behavior is a primitive defense mechanism to feel "safe” when feeling threatened, scared, or feeling judged or misunderstood. Splitting is not limited to persons with BPD, but can be seen in people with pathological narcissism.
Furthermore, the Borderline individual's tendency to project unacceptable aspects of their own character onto those around them will eventually shatter the perfect image they have of the Narcissistic partner, whom they then devalue and attack.
Narcissistic collapse occurs when a narcissist's ability to uphold their grandiose, confident image is threatened. As a result, they often become enraged, resulting in impulsivity, intense lashing out, or harm to others.
In general, it may involve intense emotional reactions and a tendency toward vindictive behaviors, but it could also lead to depression and withdrawal. Narcissistic collapse isn't a permanent occurrence once it happens. Typically, the emotional pain will decrease and the person may return to feeling their usual.
This splitting is often seen when a narcissist is mad at you for some wrong they think you committed. Although they may have loved and cared about you earlier, now that you have done something they don't like they can become brutally mean.
Narcissism can be interpreted as a construct with two faces: the bright face of admiration representing grandiose and the dark face of rivalry representing the antagonistic aspects of narcissism (Back et al., 2013).
According to the Mayo Clinic “Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. Those with narcissistic personality disorder believe that they're superior to others and have little regard for other people's feelings.
While people with narcissism aren't devoid of emotions, their motivations may be self-focused. They can know they're hurting your feelings, but as long as it elevates their status, they may not care. Someone living with narcissism does cry. They can feel regret, remorse, and sadness.
Narcissists can feel emotional pain, but not usually in the same way as others. The emotional pain they may feel is usually related to underlying selfish needs. Underneath the displays of superiority and sense of entitlement, they often feel empty, powerless, and shameful, which they perceive as weakness.
They are often driven from agitation into an aggressive rage with a simple trigger. Any small play against their ego, perfectionism, or a slight action against their image of self-worth, may be enough to trigger narcissistic rage.
According to a 2019 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, people with NPD have traits that make it harder to love another person. Your narcissistic spouse may not be able to support you or show genuine emotion. Any love or affection they show is often given only for their own benefit.
Final Thoughts on the Red Flags of a Narcissist
Narcissistic individuals often exhibit traits such as a lack of empathy, manipulative behavior, and an inflated sense of self-importance. It's essential to understand that dealing with a narcissist can be draining and challenging.
Narcissists all follow the same patterns — here are some of the most common phrases they use to manipulate you. Narcissists often follow the same pattern in relationships: idealize, devalue, discard.
People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder often undermine others in an attempt to gain power or feel superior.
The counterattacks and force of disdain and rage from the narcissist can make you feel bullied with no restraint. It can come in the form of emails, texts, letters, verbal abuse, social media attacks, or in-person abuse. This narcissistic rage seems to come out of nowhere and can leave you feeling confused and afraid.
The narcissistic abuse cycle refers to an abusive pattern of behavior that characterizes the relationships of people with narcissistic traits. It involves first idealizing a person, then devaluing them, repeating the cycle, and eventually discarding them when they are of no further use.