According to relationship therapist Aimee Hartstein, LCSW, as it turns out, the first year really is the hardest—even if you've already lived together. In fact, it often doesn't matter if you've been together for multiple years, the start of married life is still tricky.
The first year of the relationship is the hardest stage, and even when you're living together, you still discover new things about each other every day. How to Survive: The key to getting past the discovery stage is also discovery. The discovery of your partner's imperfections and your imperfections as well.
While there are countless divorce studies with conflicting statistics, the data points to two periods during a marriage when divorces are most common: years 1 – 2 and years 5 – 8. Of those two high-risk periods, there are two years in particular that stand out as the most common years for divorce — years 7 and 8.
“So by the third year, you are beginning to face a powerful breaking point when the wild infatuation has worn off,” Dr Fisher says. “Research shows that initial, intense passion lasts one to three years. When that starts to wear off, there may be a strong emotional attachment — but there may not.
The seven-year itch is said to be the amount of time, on average, that relationships or marriages last but in actual fact, science suggests it may be more like 12 years. It's easy for relationships to become a little stagnant if we don't put the work in and make an effort to keep them fresh over the longer term.
The 7-Year Itch is the idea that marriages start to decline or end in divorce around the seven-year mark due to boredom or even unhappiness. Either one or both partners can feel the 7-Year Itch and can be produced by several different factors, including: Lack of communication. Miscommunication.
Couples experiencing the seven year itch disagree with each other more, become less affectionate, share fewer activities, and express overall dissatisfaction with their marriages, says Kurdek, whose study was published in the September 1999 issue of the journal Developmental Psychology.
When the “three-year itch” occurs, it may be because couples lose passion and begin to focus on personality differences, different outlooks and goals, and incompatible lifestyle quirks. They may feel they're not a match or that the conflicts are unsurpassable.
The survey found that many couples struggle in year five, when kids and flourishing careers make competing demands on a couple's relationship. The survey also found that the seven year itch is a real thing; couples reported that seven years in is “the wall,” which, if scaled, bodes well for a long marriage.
If you've ever heard that year seven is the make-it-or-break-it year for marriages, you may start to get nervous as that anniversary approaches. The seven-year itch, as it's called, is a term that describes feeling restless or dissatisfied in a relationship — typically at that seven-year mark.
New research shows that relationships are actually more vulnerable to demise far sooner than the dreaded seven year itch. The most common time for a couple to split is right around the two year mark.
The seven-year itch or 7-year itch refers to the notion that divorce rates reach their height around the seven-year mark of commitment. While this concept has been widely disputed, it is a concern that plagues many if they start experiencing marital issues seven years into their relationship.
According to a study by David McCandless breakups most frequently happen on Valentine's day, Spring season, April fool's day, Monday, Summer holiday, two weeks before Christmas and Christmas day.
'Tis the season to be … dumped. December might be a time for joy and goodwill – but it's also the most popular time for couples to break up.
Couples with an age gap of 1 to 3 years (with the man older than the woman) were the most common and had the greatest levels of satisfaction. Relationship satisfaction decreased slightly for couples with age gaps of 4 to 6 years and continued to decrease for couples with an age gap of 7 or more years.
Final Thoughts. The hardest years of marriage are the first, third, fifth, and seventh or eighth. As mentioned earlier, the lack of communication and unrealistic expectations are the ultimate relationship killers. However, finding solutions and sticking through the ups and downs will strengthen the relationship.
Is it Real? Yes and No. The 7-year-itch might be more aptly named 'the 4-5-year itch” because in reality, divorce rates peak at around 4-5 years after marriage (Fisher, 1989; Kulu, 2014) and then steadily decline. There are a few theories on why this happens.
Studies suggest that 20 percent of marriages end within the first five years and that this number increased by 12 percent within 10 years.
In terms of having less or no sex in a relationship, a sexual slump can generally be defined as a relationship devoid of sex over a period of time, usually within the last six months to a year, according to Megwyn White, a certified clinical sexologist and the director of education for Satisfyer in New York.
Long-term relationships tend to last anywhere from two to three years, with couples breaking up around this time. Not surprisingly, this is when many couples experience the oxytocin dip and feel less infatuated with each other. They may begin to notice relational issues that bother them or feel unresolvable.
While a three-year gap isn't, in itself, absolutely good or bad, even small age differences can be significant for younger people. They may be at different stages of emotional maturity. As people get older, the significance of their age bracket may narrow.
The 7-year itch is a psychological term for a milestone in a relationship, after which the bond starts to decline. No more sparks flying, no more seeing stars, no more longing for each other's touch. Couples enter a romantic slumber at this point, leaving them both feeling underappreciated and unwanted.
Five to seven years is generally an acceptable age difference. However, there's no single right answer here, as it depends on the situation. As long as both partners are consenting adults, there's nothing preventing you from dating someone significantly older or younger than you are.
Statistically speaking, most marriages that end in divorce do break up at the 7 to 8 year mark, but that doesn't mean it's impossible to keep a relationship together for life. In the developed world, approximately 50% of marriages do remain together for life, so it is possible.