Haters are generally jealous creatures. They can't stand that you have something they want, and that ranges from being able to afford that dress they've been lusting after, or a talent you have. They hate that you have what they desire and for that reason they'll do whatever it takes to 'balance things out'.
The single, most important reason to ignore the haters and go on with your business is simple—you deserve better. If someone purposefully treats you unkindly, they don't deserve to upset you. Continue choosing to see the world through your rose-colored glasses.
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What causes people to be haters?
Feelings of hatred or intense emotional dislike develop for many reasons. People might begin to hate another person or group when they: Feel envy or want what the other person has. They may consider it unfair that someone has what they lack.
The best thing you can do is always be polite, even to someone open about hating you. The reason is that you'll show others you can be the right person and that you can be the bigger person if it comes down to it.
From the interaction between these two variables—the replaceability or irreplaceability of the target and the determinacy or indeterminacy of the focus of concern—four types of hate can be obtained: normative, ideological, retributive, and malicious.
A hater may not experience much kindness or positivity because they don't usually put a lot of good vibes out into the world. The majority of the people they launch envy attacks against will respond to them in ways that are hostile or angry. If you're the person who disarms a hater, it's not just good for you.
The real reason you're attracting haters is because the haters are mirroring back hatred that you have for yourself that you've repressed. The reason haters are picking up on your energy is because we all have a particular energy that we project out into the world, which has been proven by science.
“Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.” “The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.” “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat.
You think of yourself as a great problem-solver, but that often means overstepping boundaries and causing havoc in your relationships. Toxic people find you attractive because, much as they do with the pleaser, they take advantage of your good nature and desire to help.
Jealous friends are usually people with low self-esteem and diminished self-image. HSPs (highly sensitive person) and highly empathetic people often attract people like these because they often feel the need to help others. They soon form a friendship with them because they like to lift other people.
Set boundaries. Don't feel like you have to continue to listen to a jealous person vent to you all the time. Set boundaries to distance yourself from the person. Make a mental time limit for how long you will engage with a negative person, then politely excuse yourself from the conversation.
Jealousy may be driven by low self-esteem or a poor self-image. If you don't feel attractive and confident, it can be hard to truly believe that your partner loves and values you. Other times, jealousy can be caused by unrealistic expectations about the relationship.
Toxic jealousy becomes a dysfunctional way to get unmet, but very normal, childhood needs for affection and genuine care met in adulthood. Think of toxic jealousy as a giant tantrum, the equivalent of a 4-year-old yelling and flailing about on the floor to get what he or she wants, and to get it immediately.
Research has identified many root causes of extreme jealousy, including low self-esteem, high neuroticism, and feeling possessive of others, particularly romantic partners. Fear of abandonment is also a key motivator.
