Feeling empty is a complex emotion often caused by physical, psychological, and social factors. These may include the loss of a loved one, a major life change, depression, anxiety, unresolved trauma, and poor relationships. Feeling empty may also be caused by disconnection, loneliness, and boredom.
Causes of Emptiness
“These experiences might include the loss of a loved one, rejection or distinct difficulty finding meaning and fulfillment in their lives.” Other factors that may lead to a feeling of emptiness include boredom, stress, communication issues and lack of emotional connection with others, adds Del Toro.
Feeling empty can sometimes manifest as a sense of loneliness, confusion about your life and goals, or lack of motivation to pursue anything in life. Everyone might feel this void in their heart from time to time.
“Emptiness” is often a symptom of unresolved pain. For example, somewhere in your past relationships, an emotional wound was left unhealed. Such wounds are most often caused by someone intimately close, such as a parent, a sibling, a friend, or a lover.
Experiencing phases of feeling empty or disconnected can also be normal in a long-term relationship or marriage, but if the feelings persist, it may be a sign there are issues that need to be addressed. A few causes of feeling empty in a relationship include: Over-dependence on partner to meet all emotional needs.
Numb love is what happens when our tolerance levels rise too high. We aren't feeling the effects we used to. We don't make them swoon and they don't make us feel all fuzzy inside. We might even begin to think… “Do I even love them anymore?”.
However, based on the studies reviewed, chronic emptiness is a sense of disconnection from both self and others. When experienced at frequent and severe levels, it is associated with low remission for people with BPD.
Chronic feelings of emptiness are significant in the lives of people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Feelings of emptiness have been linked to impulsivity, self-harm, suicidal behaviour and impaired psychosocial function.
We can speak of two kinds of emptiness: the emptiness of the dharma of teachings and the emptiness of the dharma of mind.
“Chronic feelings of emptiness” is one of the nine DSM-5 criteria for borderline personality disorder. The experience of emptiness is an important criterion to target in treatment because the symptom can be devastating for many individuals.
Separations, disagreements, and rejections—real or perceived—are the most common triggers for symptoms. A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.
An emotionally unavailable man has a difficult time knowing how to engage in the real-stuff conversations. In some instances, he may have some capacity to listen, but is emotionally shutting that part of himself down so that you don't get too close. If that's the case, you will likely feel shut down and alone.
For some people, shutting down emotionally is a response to feeling overstimulated. It doesn't have anything to do with you or how they feel about you. If your husband or partner shuts down when you cry, for example, it may be because they don't know the best way to handle that display of emotions.
If you feel empty even when your partner is very present in your life, that could indicate a deeper issue. You might suspect that this relationship isn't a good fit for you or experience self-doubt. It's important not to jump to conclusions. As mentioned above, depression is one common cause of feelings of emptiness.
If your husband feels neglected, it is time you pay attention before things go out of control. Men do need love and attention even after marriage. If they don't get enough of them, they may feel ignored. If your husband is sulking or brooding a lot then it must be a sign of dissatisfaction.
Besides no longer getting excited to spend time together, you may find yourself flat-out avoiding your partner. You may stay late at work, see movies or eat dinner by yourself, or even take the long way home to avoid being with your partner for a moment longer than you have to.
Many times, the true signs are in the little things like his body language, the way he prioritizes you, or when he goes out of his way to try to make you happy. Other signs he loves you are that he asks for your opinion on things and he says nice things about you.
An emotionally distant partner is someone who does not have access to their own emotions, and therefore cannot share them with you. In other words, they are not trying to hide things from you, but they cannot give what they don't have.
He makes you a priority
But, one of the signs an emotionally unavailable man likes you is when he puts you in his plans. This means you're a priority in his life. He might avoid talking about his feelings because it makes him feel less of a man. However, he would care about you in the best way he can.
Close relationships require meaningful time together. Some couples drift apart due to factors that keep them from being together. These can include being physically apart for long periods of time, working long hours or different hours than your spouse, working multiple jobs, and frequent travel.
Loneliness may be common with BPD, but it's not impossible to overcome. There are many strategies you can use to feel less alone, such as joining a support group, taking classes, caring for an animal, and finding new ways to communicate with your loved ones. You may also want to consider engaging in therapy.