Typically, if you're really, truly a narcissist, you probably won't really know or be able to recognize that you are one. And if you do realize that you're pretty self-centered, you might not think that there's anything wrong with that.
An inadvertent narcissist is a person who behaves in highly egocentric and self-focused ways without having any insight into the source of these behaviors as coming from one's own personality. One very obvious route to gaining this understanding comes from listening to yourself speak.
If you worry that you are a narcissist... you're probably not. That's because, in my experience, people who actually have Narcissistic Personality Disorder or a narcissistic style rarely wonder or worry about their narcissism. Narcissists generally: Have little interest in introspection.
People with NPD have an inflated sense of importance, an excessive need for admiration and attention, and a lack of empathy for others. They often struggle to maintain healthy relationships and may experience difficulties in other aspects of their lives.
If you think you might be a narcissist, the first step is to show yourself compassion and reach out to a therapist who specializes in this issue. Together, you and your therapist will develop a plan to help you grow into a more fulfilled version of yourself.
“To what extent do you agree with this statement: 'I am a narcissist.'” Scientists believe that this question could be all researchers need to make a quick and easy diagnosis of narcissism.
How is narcissistic personality disorder diagnosed? A mental health professional such as a psychologist or psychiatrist (psychotherapist) can determine if you have key symptoms of NPD. Your psychotherapist will give you questionnaires and then talk with you. You'll go over what's causing you distress.
Apologize. If you've heard someone say, “Narcissists never apologize,” they're not exactly right. While many traits of narcissism like entitlement, elitism, and arrogance make it unlikely someone with narcissistic traits will go the apology route, apologies are sometimes used with ulterior motives.
They're often introverted, sensitive, and prone to experiencing anxiety and shame. They may also struggle to maintain close friendships as they focus heavily on themselves, require attention, and are hyper-sensitive to perceived criticism.
Someone living with narcissism does cry. They can feel regret, remorse, and sadness. These emotions, however, don't often have roots in empathy. American Psychiatric Association.
While an outward show of superiority is a definite part of the narcissistic personality, a sense of superiority (or pursuit of it) is not the central factor of the disorder. The root of the disorder is actually a strict resistance to feeling vulnerable with anyone at any time.
Narcissists can sometimes be helpful and caring. However, more often than not, they only pretend to have these qualities. Moreover, even when they act giving and helping, they are not motivated by empathy because they severely lack it, and as a result, their help is often not very productive.
Narcissists can and do love, but their love tends to be superficial and fleeting. They can develop intense emotional attachments—even appearing to "fall in love"—and yet still maintain a complete lack of empathy for the object of their affection.
Age does not mellow a narcissist – it simply makes them more self-centred. They may become obsessed with their appearance, obsessing about every wrinkle or the appearance of white hairs. If they have retired, they often become obsessed by the loss of their career.
Living with a narcissist may feel difficult, but it's possible to preserve your well-being with strong boundaries, a solid support network, and a therapist who's informed on narcissism. You may also find it useful to attend a National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) family support group in your area.
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
There's no cure for narcissistic personality disorder, although treatment can help you manage some of the symptoms. Those people who may rank lower on the narcissism scale are more likely to benefit from mental health therapy compared to those who have a clinical NPD diagnosis.
Lack of empathy
Narcissists tend to be selfish and self-involved and are usually unable to understand what other people are feeling. They expect others to think and feel the same as they do and seldom give any thought to how others feel. They are also rarely apologetic, remorseful, or guilty.
Red Flags When You're In a Relationship With a Narcissist
Downplays your emotions. Uses manipulative tactics to “win” arguments. Love bombing, especially after a fight. Makes you second-guess yourself constantly.
Many narcissists are obsessive-compulsive as well. They conduct daily "rituals", they are overly punctilious, they do things in a certain order, and adhere to numerous "laws", "principles", and "rules". They have rigid and oft-repeated opinions, uncompromising rules of conduct, unalterable views and judgments.
One of the weird things narcissists do involves destroying your happiness and relaxing moments. They will purposefully do things to prevent you from doing something as simple as sleep. Even if you had a long day or are sick, a narcissist may start a fight while you are trying to sleep.