Very often, many have found that they have invested too much trust in a relationship, all for it to go to waste. Lack of trust kills love. There are some old wounds that never really heal. It could stem from the hurt of betrayal or disappointment or resentment.
Gottman and Silver have identified the four destroyers to a good relationship. They call them the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. So dangerous to a healthy, loving relationship are criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.
Aside from all-out abusive behavior, blaming and shaming may be the fastest way to kill your connection. Both behaviors communicate contempt for your partner, displaying that you view him or her as beneath you or deserving of scorn.
Doubting Your Partner
People who tend to doubt their partners can never thrive in a relationship. Trust is one of the most critical parts of a healthy relationship. If trust is missing, nothing can be done. Just think how long an individual can justify his/her integrity.
Constant betrayal kills love. No matter how much you love a man, if he keeps lying to you and cheating on you with different women that you are even better than in many ramifications, your feelings for him will start to die.
According to one study, approximately 15 percent of married couples are sexless: Spouses haven't had sex with each other in the past six months to one year.
If you truly believe that it's time to move on, stop loving someone, and leave this person in the past, you can do so. People fall out of love all the time. But there is no need to villainize them or speak poorly of them.
Common causes for breakups include personality differences, lack of time spent together, infidelity, lack of positive interactions between the couple, low sexual satisfaction, and low overall relationship satisfaction. Ending a relationship is one of the most difficult things we have to do.
There are many reasons why you may decide to stop loving someone—perhaps your feelings aren't returned, or maybe your partner repeatedly acts in ways that are against your best interests. Whatever the grounds, pulling away from someone you held such strong feelings for is never easy.
conflict– if there is ongoing conflict in your relationship, it can be difficult to develop intimacy. It is not easy to feel close to someone you are arguing with. Anger, hurt, resentment, lack of trust, or a sense of being unappreciated can all affect intimacy.
Red flags in a relationship include excessive jealousy and frequent lying. You should also be wary of a partner who frequently criticizes you or puts you down. Another major red flag is an unwillingness to compromise — relationships shouldn't be one-sided.
Killer #1: Over Familiarity
This is the most common killer and is present in every single marriage that is not doing well. It is present even when couples think, "everything is fine."
1. Communication Issues. The most common complaint among married couples is lack of communication. Many couples put up with problems rather than try to fix them.
Stonewalling, one of the Four Horsemen, is Dr. John Gottman's term for one or both partners shutting down when feeling overwhelmed during conflict. Rather than confronting the issue, someone who is stonewalling will be unresponsive, making evasive maneuvers such as tuning out, turning away, or acting busy.
Respect yourself.
Like everyone else, good men are attracted to someone who respects and takes pride in themselves. Show him that you think you're worthy by respecting yourself. Speak up for yourself, think for yourself, take control of situations when necessary, and take care of yourself.
Long distances, contradicting schedules, or growing resentment are all common reasons couples lose their spark—otherwise known as chemistry or a particularly strong connection.