Unlike conventional cheaters, narcissistic cheaters can feel greater self-entitlement, impulsivity, suffer from control issues, and experience a lack of empathy and remorse.
Confront their lies to break down their defenses.
If you've tried to be kind and diplomatic but the narcissist still won't tell the truth, admit that you think they're lying. Just make one simple critique. As soon as you say you doubt the narcissist's account, they're more likely to melt down and become illogical.
Fault lines: A narcissist will never admit they did anything wrong, it's almost impossible for them. The only way they'll say sorry for their actions is if they know they can manipulate something out of that apology.
The Psychodynamic Process Enables Cheating
In the quest for narcissistic supply, the somatic narcissist resorts to serial sexual conquests. Narcissists are easily bored (they have a low boredom threshold) and they have a low tolerance for boredom. Sexual dalliances alleviate this nagging and frustrating ennui.
If they are cheating (which is more common among narcissists than others), they will accuse you of cheating. These accusations ramp up when you go out of town or engage in an activity without them. Also, time away means less attention for them.
Basically, the silent treatment is a passive-aggressive behavior by which an abuser communicates some sort of negative message to the intended victim that only the perpetrator and the victim recognize through nonverbal communication.
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
If you catch a narcissist in a lie and confront them, you will definitely face at least one of the Four D's. They will either deny, deflect, devalue, and/or dismiss you. Deny. “It wasn't me.”
Narcissist Lies Often Turn Into Gaslighting
For the NPD, the lies are often a prelude to gaslighting. Gaslighting is a psychological weapon used by some to keep a person emotionally off-balance. When they lie to the person's face about what may have occurred, they cause the victim to question their own sanity.
"Narcissists are drawn to those who can boost their own self-esteem and validate their sense of importance," Wasser told Insider. "Being associated with someone who is successful or admired can make the narcissist feel more important by proxy."
At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.
Unless they have had a lot of successful psychotherapy for their NPD, they do not feel guilt, shame, or self-doubt so long as their narcissistic defenses hold. This means that they do not think there is anything for them to regret, no matter how hurt you feel.
Being silent is a narcissist's desperate attempt to rekindle attention from you that was provided at the beginning of the relationship. Sometimes it works, but for those of us who've caught on to all the lies and deception, it's just kind of funny, infuriating, but funny.
While it's not impossible for a narcissist to be faithful, it is unlikely due to their self-centered nature and lack of empathy. If you're in a relationship with a narcissist, it's important to be aware of these traits so that you can protect yourself and your relationship.
Calling out the narcissist really has no benefit. They won't start to acknowledge their wrongs and make efforts to change. By calling them out, you just open yourself up to more abuse from the narcissist. This might be hard to hear because this means you are left with no way to be heard for how you are being treated.
Narcissists lie effortlessly and are very convincing because they lack normal human emotions or inhibitions. They are insensitive and bored, lack the willingness to show empathy for others, and feel neither shame nor remorse. This coldness of feeling also allows them to lie with minimal inhibitions.
A tactic that narcissists will often use once they realize that they've lost control over you is self-victimization. When a narcissist victimizes themselves it means that they label themselves as victims and blame their problems on external factors.