Blaming ourselves and attacking our self-worth only deepens the emotional pain we feel and makes it harder for us to recover emotionally,” Winch said. Relationship expert and therapist Nicole McCance, says being left for someone else is the hardest type of rejection.
The answer is — our brains are wired to respond that way. When scientists placed people in functional MRI machines and asked them to recall a recent rejection, they discovered something amazing. The same areas of our brain become activated when we experience rejection as when we experience physical pain.
You really don't need to go into a lot of detail about why you're rejecting someone. If you do, stick with “I” statements like “I just don't feel a romantic connection,” or “I am not looking for a relationship right now.” More importantly, try not to put blame on the person for rejecting them.
What is the best way to reject someone without hurting their feelings?
“You just say something like, “Sorry, I'm not interested.” or “No.” If you want to be extra gentle about it, you can say something like, “I'm flattered, but not interested.”, “No, thank you.”, or “Thank you for asking, but I'm not interested.” If they push for anything beyond that, they are the ones being rude.”
Strong feelings of rejection can happen because your brain is 'wired' to see all experiences as either acceptance or rejection, instead of just regular occurrences of human nature, where sometimes we get along with others and other times it just doesn't work out.
Part of the reason that rejecting people is difficult is that it's likely to hurt them. "Witnessing somebody in pain is very difficult," says Chan, "especially when that pain is connected to something you do or to something you feel or something you don't feel but wish you could."
When you reject somebody, whether you like it or not, you are intentionally hurting their feelings. It may be necessary to do it, and it may be the right thing to do, but that's the truth of the matter. And, as a person who experiences empathy, that makes me feel guilty.
Relationship expert Rachael Lloyd from eharmony says romantic rejection is one of the most painful types of rejection. "It literally cuts to the very heart of who we are and how attractive we deem ourselves to be," says Lloyd. "And no one is exempt.
He may choose to walk away. He may feel satisfied with himself for trying. Or he could react aggressively, calling the woman a name or worse, assaulting her. Well, the first thing that comes to anyone's mind after being rejected is anger, despair and sadness or even shock.
Is it possible to reject someone without hurting their feelings?
In general, the best you can do is break things off as kindly and gently as possible." You can and should try to reject someone without hurting them by exercising kindness and thoughtfulness in the conversation, but after that, how they handle that rejection is up to them.
