Having tea with the Queen involves formal etiquette, focusing on following her lead, proper greetings (addressing her as "Your Majesty," then "Ma'am"), elegant posture (no slouching, bringing the cup to your mouth, not leaning), and specific tea-handling (stirring gently back and forth, placing the spoon on the saucer, no pinky out, small sips, no slurping). Key rules include never turning your back, eating in sequence (sandwiches, scones with jam/cream, cakes), and placing your napkin on your lap before eating and to the left of the saucer when finished.
The first step to proper tea etiquette is sitting correctly. Grant says, "When it comes to sitting down for one's afternoon tea, there is a correct way to do this, because it is not a bean bag." To sit like a royal, gently move your chair back, stand in front of it, with your calves touching the seat.
Fabrics should be light and airy: silk, linen, cotton mix or lightweight jersey works well. It's best to do the hand crumple test with the linen as, depending on the quality of the fabric, some linens crease worse than others. You don't want to look as if you've slept in your outfit within minutes of putting it on.
For men this is a neck bow (from the head only) whilst women do a small curtsy. Other people prefer simply to shake hands in the usual way. On presentation to The Queen, the correct formal address is 'Your Majesty' and subsequently 'Ma'am,' pronounced with a short 'a,' as in 'jam'.
Here are 10 etiquette rules that everyone should master:
This one is slightly more obvious. Instead of using “toilet,” royals use the word “loo” when they need to use the facilities. “'Toilet' is French by origin, so it is apparently avoided,” The Mirror writes.
Here are a few tea party etiquette tips to remember:
The 3-3-3 clothing rule is a simple styling method for creating many outfits from few items: choose 3 tops, 3 bottoms, and 3 shoes, which allows for 27 potential combinations (3x3x3) and reduces decision fatigue, often used for travel or building a minimalist capsule wardrobe. It's a versatile concept, sometimes expanded to include 3 layers (like jackets or cardigans) for even more looks, making dressing easier by focusing on mix-and-match versatility with core pieces.
Traditionally, plain kimono and hakama are worn by women and men during tea ceremonies, but these days the attire is much more flexible. If you don't have a kimono, wearing western clothing will be fine in most scenarios. For women's attire, try not to wear anything too revealing, flashy, or casual.
Tea time remains an important tradition in the royal family today. Queen Elizabeth II was known to enjoy a cup of Earl Grey tea in the morning, while King Charles is a fan of Darjeeling tea. The royal family also hosts an annual garden party at Buckingham Palace, where guests are treated to tea, sandwiches, and cakes.
Tuna mayonnaise sandwiches
A former royal chef recently claimed the Queen's favourite sandwich was tuna mayonnaise. He said that the sandwich always had to be generously buttered and topped with thin slices of cucumber, plus a sprinkle of black pepper on top.
Her former butler also revealed the steps to prepare a royal cup of tea.
To serve the tea, generally the milk (due to denaturing of milk proteins when hot water is added) and sugar go in first. The person serving, which is considered an honor, serves the tea to the guests first and him or herself last.
According to Sir William Heseltine, one of Queen's private secretaries, when staying with Her Majesty, members of the royal family should wait until the Queen retires to bed before they also hit the hay.
Always use freshly drawn, cold water every time you fill your kettle. The oxygen in the water is vital in producing a lively, bright brew. It's important you don't over-boil your kettle – this can change the taste of the water and the appearance of the tea.
Avoid top-to-toe baggy/oversized looks
Stay away from top-to-toe baggy/oversized looks, as they can give off a frumpy vibe. Instead, pair a looser top with tighter pants or leggings; or wear a tighter top with a maxi skirt or wide-leg pants.
The 3-color rule for men is a simple guideline to keep outfits visually balanced and stylish by limiting yourself to a maximum of three colors, often using a dominant neutral, a secondary complementary color, and a smaller pop of accent color, creating a clean and cohesive look without looking overly busy or like a "walking color wheel". It helps with mixing and matching, especially for capsule wardrobes, and involves choosing a base, a supporting tone, and an accent through accessories or textures.
The "5 Outfit Rule" (or "5-Outfit Rule") is a smart shopping guideline: before buying a new item, you must be able to mentally style it into at least five different outfits using clothes you already own to ensure versatility, prevent clutter, and promote mindful consumption. It helps build a functional wardrobe by focusing on pieces that offer maximum wearability for various occasions, seasons, and styles, moving away from impulse buys that get worn only once.
Avoiding Dunking Your Biscuits or Scones
etiquette dictates that scones, biscuits and other treats should never be dunked into your tea. childish behavior. Instead, enjoy bites of your scones between sips of tea.
Etiquette experts advise sitting with the correct posture and a napkin on your lap. After properly positioning yourself, bring the cup to your mouth—do not lean forward, slurp, or blow on hot tea. Place the cup back on its saucer between small sips, and remember, keep that pinky down.
A light, printed midi dress offers timeless elegance – perfect for afternoon tea. Whether you go for a plain design or something more floral, a midi dress strikes the ideal balance of style and comfort.
The Queen has a bath every morning, drawn by her maid while she sips a cup of tea. It's believed that the royals prefer to avoid taking showers, due to their belief that they're for members of the working class.
A rather more vulgar word for toilet is 'crapper'. First appearing in 1932, crapper became a popular alternative word for toilet thanks to the Thomas Crapper & Co Ltd company that manufactured toilets.
The royals wouldn't kick back on the sofa in a 'lounge' or even a 'living room. ' Instead, they'd retire to a 'sitting room' or a 'drawing room. ' Sofa, as it happens, is the appropriately term for a 'settee' or 'couch. '