The 7-year-itch might be more aptly named 'the 4-5-year itch” because in reality, divorce rates peak at around 4-5 years after marriage (Fisher, 1989; Kulu, 2014) and then steadily decline. There are a few theories on why this happens.
The seven-year itch or 7-year itch refers to the notion that divorce rates reach their height around the seven-year mark of commitment. While this concept has been widely disputed, it is a concern that plagues many if they start experiencing marital issues seven years into their relationship.
And they're probably reveling in being DINKs (Dual Income No Kids), with money to spend on home improvements. But if the third year is the easiest, which year is the hardest? The survey found that many couples struggle in year five, when kids and flourishing careers make competing demands on a couple's relationship.
The 7-Year Itch is the idea that marriages start to decline or end in divorce around the seven-year mark due to boredom or even unhappiness. Either one or both partners can feel the 7-Year Itch and can be produced by several different factors, including: Lack of communication. Miscommunication.
In that time, I've noticed something: the prime number years of relationships are often the hardest (i.e. 1, 3. 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29…) Often, it seems these years correspond with significant transitions and pressure points in marriage.
While there are countless divorce studies with conflicting statistics, the data points to two periods during a marriage when divorces are most common: years 1 – 2 and years 5 – 8. Of those two high-risk periods, there are two years in particular that stand out as the most common years for divorce — years 7 and 8.
The likelihood of a breakup jumps down as the second and again the third years of a relationship pass. But the fourth year of a couple's life is just as likely as the third to end in departure. It's only after a couple reaches the 5th year of their relationship that the likelihood of break up falls sharply.
Final Thoughts. The hardest years of marriage are the first, third, fifth, and seventh or eighth. As mentioned earlier, the lack of communication and unrealistic expectations are the ultimate relationship killers. However, finding solutions and sticking through the ups and downs will strengthen the relationship.
"When in a rut you might feel bored, disconnected, have a lack of physical and/or emotional connection, and even loneliness." A rut will feel different to each person, but the bottom line is that things just don't feel as exciting or fresh with the relationship or the connection isn't what it used to be.
20% of marriages end in the first 5 years. 32% end in the first 10 years. 48% of spouses who married before the age of 18 are likely to divorce within 10 years.
The third year was found to be the happiest time in a couple's marriage, which the researchers attribute to becoming comfortable within the relationship and starting to plan a family. Couples were also used to sharing finances by their third year together.
A 2002 study found that two-thirds of unhappy adults who stayed together were happy five years later. They also found that those who divorced were no happier, on average, than those who stayed together. In other words, most people who are unhappily married—or cohabiting—end up happy if they stick at it.
The seven-year itch is said to be the amount of time, on average, that relationships or marriages last but in actual fact, science suggests it may be more like 12 years. It's easy for relationships to become a little stagnant if we don't put the work in and make an effort to keep them fresh over the longer term.
The seven-year itch is a popular belief, sometimes quoted as having psychological backing, that happiness in a marriage or long-term romantic relationship declines after around seven years.
The longest marriage recorded (although not officially recognized) is a granite wedding anniversary (90 years) between Karam and Kartari Chand, who both lived in the United Kingdom, but were married in India.
Just about 70% of married couples in the United States make it to their 10th wedding anniversary. What percentage of couples make it to 20 years? The likelihood of a couple making it to their 20th anniversary drops to just about 50% after their 10-year anniversary. Women initiate almost 70% of divorces.
Apparently, there is also a “Ten Year Itch!” According to a study at Brigham and Women's University, where over 2000 women were surveyed, the highest level of marital dissatisfaction occurs around the 10th year of marriage.
According to Mitchell Smolkin, certified couples therapist, the 7-year itch isn't typically due to any big relationship problems. It's just a phenomenon that can happen after seven years together when the excitement is gone and there's more at risk.
Couples with an age gap of 1 to 3 years (with the man older than the woman) were the most common and had the greatest levels of satisfaction. Relationship satisfaction decreased slightly for couples with age gaps of 4 to 6 years and continued to decrease for couples with an age gap of 7 or more years.
The 7-year itch is a psychological term for a milestone in a relationship, after which the bond starts to decline. No more sparks flying, no more seeing stars, no more longing for each other's touch. Couples enter a romantic slumber at this point, leaving them both feeling underappreciated and unwanted.
According to experts, there are many reasons long-term couples break up, spanning from a change in values to a lack of physical touch, and none of them are likely easy to accept or understand when you're going through it.
The study found that after five years there was only a 20 percent chance that a couple will break up and that figure dwindles by the time they have been together for ten years.
While each situation is different, there are a variety of reasons why relationships don't go the distance. The main reasons why relationships fail are loss of trust, poor communication, lack of respect, a difference in priorities, and little intimacy.