Middle Child Syndrome is the idea that the middle children of a family, those born in between siblings, are treated or seen differently by their parents from the rest of their siblings.
Middle Child Syndrome Characteristics
To compensate for a perceived lack of attention, middle children may either act rebellious or try to people-please. Their behavior may be partially based on their older sibling's personality.
For some, birth order is one of these factors. However, the concept of middle child syndrome is not medically proven. In fact, no recent studies have found any strong correlation between birth order and specific personality traits.
Characteristics of a Middle Child
They're good at being mediators and want fairness in situations. They're also trustworthy friends and work well as team members. Not as family-oriented as their siblings. They may have a stronger sense of not belonging than their siblings do.
Compared to their siblings, middle children may be much more agreeable and easygoing in life. They are more extroverted, as well. They don't have to lead the pack, and they don't get the “babying” that their younger siblings do. This allows them a bit more freedom to be themselves.
In terms of the individual traits, middle kids are 6.93 percent more likely to be Feelers, and 7.23 percent less likely to be Thinkers than if personality had no relationship with your position in the family hierarchy. This is significant! There's another trait to consider here and that's Extraversion.
Popular culture imagines they are forgotten, rebellious, or unable to measure up to their older or younger siblings. In fact, stereotypes often tell us that middle children aren't as smart, connected to the family, capable as leaders, or likely to follow rules as their older or younger siblings.
And experts say middle children do tend to be more empathetic. As a middle child, I have multiple perspectives on sibling relationships that my older and younger siblings never had. When you're the middle child, you have an older role model to learn from or look up to, and a younger prodigy to teach.
"It can leave many adults feeling like they're invisible and not special," says Thompson. "It can show up in relationships and can often make middle child syndrome adults feel inadequate and not worthy of love and affection. They can always have this feeling that someone else would be better."
They may be overlooked in terms of parental time, attention or special treatment. Some children may develop a habit of being extra-helpful, or always present with their parent, to ensure they get noticed. Others might show their displeasure at being overlooked by getting angry or aggressive.
When you notice this happening, ask family members to treat all of the children equally or to spend a little more time with your middle child. While it may take some time for you and your family to adjust to new additions, by being fair and attentive, you can raise a really happy middle child.
Middle children may also struggle with an “identity crisis” of not having a specific role in the family. They often see that the oldest gets more privileges and more celebration for new achievements. The youngest gets more attention and fewer expectations. They wonder what they can do to be "special."
While the youngest sibling is usually the funniest kid, mom and dad favor the youngest for a reason that might surprise you. According to a new study conducted by Brigham Young University's School of Family Life, the youngest sibling of the family tends to be mom and dad's favorite child because of perception.
Many have heard the age-old stereotypes about birth order. The oldest is a perfectionist, the middle is forgotten, and the youngest is confident and wild. However popular these stereotypes may be, they are not entirely true.
Overall, 38 percent of Americans who are the youngest in their family report they were the favorite, compared to 27 percent of those who were oldest. Middle children are the least likely to say they were a favorite child; only 20 percent believe they were.
“The middle child is the one your parents planned for.” “The middle child is the one who silently keeps the whole family together.” “Middle child: I'm the reason we have rules.” “The middle child learns from the older ones and teaches the younger ones.
Middle children are more independent as they gain confidence. Middle children typically have more freedom and less pressure growing up. Sometimes they can even get away with more things as a kid. This, over time, leads to them developing more independence and confidence, according to Schumann.
Middle children tend to be more satisfied with marriage in general, but they seem to pair best with spouses who are the youngest in their family.
Middle children can feel undervalued and overlooked — at least when they're growing up. "Middle child syndrome" may not be an actual clinical syndrome, but those born in the middle can often feel like like they're being ignored.
Middle children are good under pressure
Some research shows that firstborn children have a higher risk of depression than middle or last born kids. Unlike firstborn kids, middles are usually under less pressure from their parents to succeed.
Middle children are less likely to be Introverts (-5.74%) and more likely to be Extraverts (+5.39%). Youngest children are very slightly more likely to be Introverts (+1.13%) than they are Extraverts (-1.07%). Only children are less likely to be Introverts (-2.23%).
The middle child syndrome may cause the child to resent her siblings for the attention and care they receive from their parents and others'. This could breed feelings of jealousy in the child and, in turn, cause her to treat them as rivals with whom she must compete.
Since they're sandwiched between two (or several) children, they feel left out and neglected. This effect is called middle-child syndrome. In fact, a literature review analyzing about 200 studies on birth order and personality found that it's very common for middle children to feel like they “don't belong.”