No massage therapist should ever make contact with your genital area or breasts. Indeed, sexual contact between massage therapists and clients is strictly prohibited under professional ethics and licensing rules as well as criminal law in most states.
Examples of sexually inappropriate touching during a massage
Touching of the genital area or breasts without consent. Inappropriate touching of other intimate areas of the body without consent. Massaging the buttocks or inner thighs in a manner that is sexual in nature or done for the pleasure of the therapist.
A boundary violation occurs when a therapist crosses the line of decency and integrity and misuses his/her power to exploit a client for the therapist's own benefit.
Open your mind and listen without being defensive. Then let the client know that you heard him and apologize that the massage session didn't meet his expectations. Next, offer a solution that you feel goes above and beyond to remedy the situation. You might just end up with a loyal customer for life.
Important – If you get an erection during the massage – don't acknowledge it or apologize for it – it's a natural body function, similar to passing gas or stomach noises, don't make any sexual comments about it or you risk termination of the massage.
Too little pressure can inhibit the rate of healing, while too much pressure is unnecessary and may even damage soft tissues. Every person has a different pain threshold, which makes it difficult to set a hard limit for how much pressure is too much. However, massage therapy should never feel acutely painful.
Some massage therapists like to talk a lot during the massage session. If the conversation is led by the therapist and they continually chit chat about their kids, problems, opinions and hobbies they may very well be devaluing your therapeutic experience and imposing their own boredom or social needs upon you.
"Always keep the lines of communication open during session, as work on your shoulders will feel significantly different than work on your glutes or feet," Travlos says. "Also one therapist's deep pressure may be another's medium or light, so always take the time to say what you need. Your body, your rules."
DON'T Feel Pressured to Make Conversation
In some settings, silence is rude. Massage is not one of those settings. Most massage therapists will tell you that they perform their best work in silence. But if you prefer to chat while you're getting a massage, that's okay too.
Possible examples of boundary crossings include shaking a client's extended hand upon first meeting or extending the time of a treatment session for a client who is in crisis.
Physical Boundaries, for example, might include anything from the set up of your practice to proper draping to understanding a client's preferences and any contraindications that might exist. Emotional Boundaries speak to a therapist's awareness of both themselves and their client.
Physical and Nonphysical Boundaries in the Massage Industry
Boundaries are physical and nonphysical limits determined by individuals to ensure security, safety and well-being. Examples of physical boundaries include: types of clothing worn. garments kept on while laying upon the massage table.
Inappropriate touching, or inappropriate contact, is often used to describe contact that is: Unwanted sexual intercourse or other sexual acts. Unwanted touching of intimate areas of another's body, such as the breasts or buttocks. Unwanted touching of non-intimate areas of another's body, depending on the circumstances.
Examples of inappropriate touch in the workplace include:
Slapping, punching, or hitting someone. Unwanted sexual advances or asking for sexual favors. Inappropriate comments about someone's body or clothing. Uncomfortable looking or leering at someone.
In general, it is any touching that is done intentionally and without your consent. Some inappropriate touching is motivated by the offending party's sexual desire. Some is not. But inappropriate touching in a work environment is illegal either way.
After a massage, it is important to drink plenty of water, eat healthy foods, and get plenty of rest. You should also avoid smoking, drinking caffeine, working out, and taking hot baths or showers. If you have any questions about what to do or not do after a massage, please ask your massage therapist.
What is never OK during a massage? If you are getting a massage for therapeutic or relaxing purposes, it is never acceptable for the therapist to touch the client's genitals. That area is strictly off limits. In most cases, a woman's breast tissue is also avoided during a massage.
It is most common for clients to completely undress for their massage, especially if it is a full body massage, where the therapist will be working across your whole body. However, it's completely up to you what you want to wear; undress to your level of comfort.
WHAT IF YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM DURING YOUR MASSAGE? Going to the bathroom before the massage begins is ideal, but if you need to urinate during the massage, be sure to let the massage therapist know. Holding it for the duration of the massage isn't comfortable or conducive to relaxing.
First do no harm – to yourself!
Don't be shy—communication is key.
Let your massage therapist know about about any recent injuries, illnesses, areas of tension or tenderness. Discussing these before the massage is key to making sure you have a great experience. (Don't keep secrets from your massage therapist! Our ears are open.)
A therapist can tell whether you stretch or exercise and what type of activities you participate in based on the length of your muscles or tensions you may have in certain areas. Whether you drink enough water.
Do You Talk in a Couples Massage. There aren't any specific rules on talking during a couples massage, so you can talk to each other during the session. However, you may find it more effective to just be quiet and relax. It really depends on the couple's ability to communicate calmly.