What is Adult Grooming? It's a gradual process. The abuser picks their target, build up trust, and the actual abuse, which is usually sexual or financial, doesn't come until much later. It often starts with friendship. The groomer will look for ways to gain their target's trust, often with gifts or promises.
Male grooming refers to men paying attention to fashion and enhancing their own appearance. This interest has become increasingly apparent in popular culture.
The person becomes withdrawn, or they may seem troubled by something but unwilling to talk about it. Alternatively, their emotions might become more volatile. You notice them using or wearing something new, that you didn't buy for them. Groomers often aim to isolate their targets from their family or friends.
Examples of grooming behaviour may include: giving gifts or special attention to a child or young person, or their parent or carer, making the child or young person feel special or indebted to an adult. making close physical contact sexual, such as inappropriate tickling and wrestling or play fighting.
Malignant narcissists begin their relationships with excessive amounts of contact, praise, flattery, and attention – this is known as love bombing. They use love bombing to groom their victims in order to get them invested in a fabricated future together – one that they never plan to deliver on.
Grooming is when someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a child or young person so they can manipulate, exploit and abuse them. Children and young people who are groomed can be sexually abused, exploited or trafficked.
Overt attention, verbal seduction (flattery / ego stroking), recruitment, physical isolation, charm, gift-giving, normalizing, gaslighting, secrecy, and threats are all hallmarks of grooming.
Perpetrators utilize tactics such as gift giving, flattery, gifting money, and meeting other basic needs. Tactics may also include increased attention and affection towards the targeted child.
“[Grooming] can occur at any age, and it has a great deal to do with gullibility, insecurity, religion, and culture. [...] It starts by targeting a vulnerable person, then building trust.”
To be well groomed, shower daily, and apply deodorant after your shower to stay smelling fresh all day long. Additionally, brush your teeth at least twice daily, once in the morning and again in the evening before bedtime.
Adult grooming
While grooming is most associated with child sexual abuse, it is also possible for adults, especially vulnerable adults to be groomed – or prepared – for abuse.
The expert testified that grooming includes such behaviors as showing a child extra attention, complimenting them, giving gifts, making promises and increasing contact —behaviors that may seem innocent to the lay person.
Grooming, which could include “sexting”, is behaviour that might be viewed as just flirting between colleagues, but may actually mask predatory sexual activity that constitutes a serious risk to employers and young employees.
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
Narcissists are misogynists. They hold women in contempt, they loathe and fear them. They seek to torment and frustrate them (either by debasing them sexually – or by withholding sex from them). They harbor ambiguous feelings towards the sexual act.
When a narcissist is exposed or when the narcissist knows you have figured him out, they will never admit the truth even if it is staring them in the face. A narcissist will lay several false accusations and try to make him right. They will say things you didn't utter and misinterpret all your intentions.
Grooming disorders are relatively common. A recent survey of 1618 people from the United States found that one out of three people met the clinical diagnosis of at least one grooming disorder [2]. This is greater than the prevalence of depression, anxiety or alcohol abuse [3, 4].