Keep in touch with the bereaved. Be there for them when they are ready. Remember birthdays and anniversaries of the death. Offer to clean, cook or do other chores. If appropriate, find out about support groups for bereaved parents and have the leader call the grieving parent to talk.
How much money should you offer? A family in need will appreciate any amount of money, so offer as much as you can afford. If you weren't very close to the deceased, you may offer the amount equivalent to a flower arrangement. At the end of the day, it's the gesture that counts the most.
Generally, immediate family members and close friends sit at the front during the funeral service. Then additional close family and friends sit in the seats close behind. There's not usually a seating plan so if you're not family or friends, it's proper etiquette to wait until other people take their seats.
"Talking or being on your phone during the service is one of the most disrespectful things you could do at a funeral," says Myka Meier, Beaumont Etiquette founder and etiquette expert. It's important to be as present as possible. ADVERTISEMENT. "Silence your phone, shut off your phone, or even just leave it behind.
The worst things to say at a funeral
Don't tell friends or family members who are grieving that their loved one has gone to a better place. Never call the death a blessing or speculate that it was that person's time. Avoid saying anything that suggests that the loss of the loved one is a positive thing.
It might seem disrespectful not to attend a parent's funeral, but this is ultimately a personal choice. There is no obligation to attend a funeral, and you might find that you would like to say goodbye in your own way. If you were estranged from the parent, you may have already grieved their death in your own way.
Leave the bad luck at the funeral, and bring good luck home. In Chinese culture, red is the color of good luck, and the coin represents fortune. Before guests arrive home, they should eat the candy and spend the coin to seal their luck. Families in other regions may present guests with a red thread instead.
Consider Sending Memorial Money
You don't have to send a gift along with the card, but you certainly can. Many people send flowers, but it's also really easy to put money on the card. When you send the money, let the family know you want them to honor their loved one in whatever way they see fit.
“Thinking of you and your family as you celebrate the life of your beloved.” “May your happy memories give you peace and comfort during this challenging time.” “I am sharing in your sadness as you remember your loved one.” “Praying for you during this difficult time.
Some reasons to not go to a funeral include: You want to go, but the service is private. The service is out of town and travel would be difficult. You are sick or have a chronic condition that would make it difficult, impossible, or highly uncomfortable to attend.
Not say or do anything at all
Sometimes when you don't know what to say, you might feel the urge to avoid or ignore the bereaved. While they may not notice in their grievous state, if you are an important person in their life, they most likely will eventually take note.
You are not required to actually view the body at a funeral viewing. Many people are a bit uncomfortable with the idea of attending a viewing, but keep in mind that funeral viewing etiquette does not require you to actually look at or spend time with the deceased if you are not comfortable doing so.
Attending a visitation can be the hardest part for people to attend, because it involves talking to the deceased's family. A good recommendation is to say something simple such as “I am sorry about your loss”, especially if there are many other guests waiting to share their condolences.
Visitors should leave quietly and not say 'bye' when you leave the wake. It is believed that 'zai jian' (see you again) could be taken as an invitation for the deceased to look for you. TBH, we are not too sure of this ourselves, but 'bye bye' is definitely something you should avoid saying at a funeral too.
Here are a few examples of comments to avoid: “I know exactly how you feel.” “God never gives us more than we can handle. God must have needed another angel in heaven. This is God's plan.” “Just try to be strong.” Or anything starting with the words “at least,” such as, “At least you have your other children with you.
When someone is going through a bereavement, you may want to take their pain away. Although this isn't possible, acknowledging it by saying, "I'm sorry I can't make things better", "I'm sorry it's so hard for you", or "I'm sorry things are so tough right now" can help them feel heard and supported.
It could be time to cut the person off if you or your child start to dread visiting that family member, especially if they only interact in negative ways with those around them. "Recognize that spending time apart from them is important to one's own mental health," adds Dr. Halpern.
Funeral Farewell Quotes for a Celebration of Life
A life well-lived finds rest and rewards in the afterlife. Farewell to our friend until that moment we meet again. Let not sorrow replace the love and memories of your friend. Rejoice in the kingdom of God that has unfolded and welcomed our beloved.
It is not a selfish act to request not to have a funeral after you pass away. There are many reasons why you may not want to have a funeral and any of them are valid. You deserve to have any send-off that you wish for, so don't be afraid to share your last wishes with your family openly and honestly.