"Talking or being on your phone during the service is one of the most disrespectful things you could do at a funeral," says Myka Meier, Beaumont Etiquette founder and etiquette expert. It's important to be as present as possible. "Silence your phone, shut off your phone, or even just leave it behind.
Stealing anything from a deceased person or their family is obviously a no-go. Even “just a flower or two,” is also disrespectful.
This means no jeans, shorts, or tank tops. Instead, opt for dark, conservative clothing. Women should avoid wearing anything too revealing or flashy, and men should make sure their clothing is clean and wrinkle-free.
The worst things to say at a funeral
Don't tell friends or family members who are grieving that their loved one has gone to a better place. Never call the death a blessing or speculate that it was that person's time. Avoid saying anything that suggests that the loss of the loved one is a positive thing.
It is customary to show your respects by viewing the deceased if the body is present and the casket is open. You may wish to say a silent prayer for, or meditate about, the deceased at this time. In some cases the family may escort you to the casket. The length of your visit at the wake is a matter of discretion.
Attending a visitation can be the hardest part for people to attend, because it involves talking to the deceased's family. A good recommendation is to say something simple such as “I am sorry about your loss”, especially if there are many other guests waiting to share their condolences.
Wearing dark grey or deep blue is just as appropriate as black, while brown and lighter greys are suitable for the vast majority of funeral services. However, unless specifically requested by the deceased or their family, you should avoid any bright colors such as yellows, oranges, pinks, and reds.
Is it bad to cry at a funeral? Everyone shows their emotions differently and it can be healthy to cry at a funeral – don't feel embarrassed. Though, if you become a bit overwhelmed and find yourself crying uncontrollably, it's a good idea to excuse yourself until you have regained control.
Generally, immediate family members and close friends sit at the front during the funeral service. Then additional close family and friends sit in the seats close behind. There's not usually a seating plan so if you're not family or friends, it's proper etiquette to wait until other people take their seats.
Is It Okay to Smile at a Funeral? It's not only okay to smile at a funeral but it's also encouraged, especially when greeting the bereaved. Seeing someone smile at us can help lift our spirits. It's also a nonverbal way of showing support.
In general, it is wise to avoid taking pictures at a funeral or a memorial service unless you have been specifically asked to do so by the deceased's family. Deciding to snap a few candids of the cousins gathered together can create tension and ruin the mood at the service.
A Filipino superstition holds that you should not go straight home after a funeral. If you do, death may follow you. So stop off somewhere else first.
Even though we're all certain to die one day, most people can leave the planning to the last minute, or not at all. This failure to plan is one of the most common reasons some families fall apart when a loved one dies. A combination of heightened emotions, financial strain, and grief causes estrangement in families.
It could be time to cut the person off if you or your child start to dread visiting that family member, especially if they only interact in negative ways with those around them. "Recognize that spending time apart from them is important to one's own mental health," adds Dr. Halpern.
Dark or muted dresses are traditional and don't take attention away from the service. Shoulders should be covered in most cases. Skirts and dresses should reach the knee. Suits are also considered respectful and appropriate.
Most common funeral etiquette practices for women to wear include a dark or black skirt suit or pantsuit; a skirt of appropriate length or pants and a top with sleeves, a blouse, or a sweater; flats or pumps. In some cultures, and religions women wear hats to funerals.
Dressing appropriately for funerals around the world
In the West, showing respect at a funeral typically requires conservative attire in black or dark colors. However, white is the color of mourning in China, and for Sikh, Hindu, and some Muslim services.
But during the wake of their beloved, superstitions say that one must refrain from sweeping the floor. Neither should you try and take a shower at the place where the deceased is. Doing so may send its spirit away from the place, preventing it from “safely passing” to life after death.
Leave the bad luck at the funeral, and bring good luck home. In Chinese culture, red is the color of good luck, and the coin represents fortune. Before guests arrive home, they should eat the candy and spend the coin to seal their luck. Families in other regions may present guests with a red thread instead.