In some cases, though, abuse may go through a cycle of four stages: tension, incident, reconciliation, and calm. Abuse may be evident or subtle, but its effects are real. It's OK if you haven't found the ways to exit the situation, but ending the cycle of abuse is possible.
Parental emotional abuse can take many forms, including verbally abusing, terrorizing, exploiting, isolating, rejecting, neglecting, and parentifying1. It occurs when parents repeatedly interact with their children in a harmful way.
Victims of emotional abuse are often worn down so that they cannot see the harmful dynamics clearly. They come to believe that the relationship challenges are their own fault. They may spend time ruminating and bargaining, considering how they can adapt their behavior or avoid confrontation.
Mental abuse can be described as acts that can cause someone to feel insulted or demeaned or wear down someone's self-esteem. Examples include making unreasonable demands, being overly critical, wanting a partner to sacrifice needs for others, and causing them to doubt their perception (gaslighting).
Emotional abuse targets a person's feelings, it uses emotions to manipulate, punish, and achieve control. Rather than personal sentiments, mental abuse focuses on questioning and influencing a person's way of thinking and views on reality. Psychological abuse can cause a person to question their environment.
This may present in romantic relationships as threats, insults, constant monitoring, excessive jealousy, manipulation, humiliation, intimidation, dismissiveness, among others. Sometimes emotional abuse is more obvious, like a partner yelling at you or calling you names.
Emotional or psychological abuse
Emotional abuse often coexists with other forms of abuse, and it is the most difficult to identify. Many of its potential consequences, such as learning and speech problems and delays in physical development, can also occur in children who are not being emotionally abused.
Emotional abuse is linked to thinning of certain areas of the brain that help you manage emotions and be self-aware — especially the prefrontal cortex and temporal lobe. Epigenetic changes and depression. Research from 2018 has connected childhood abuse to epigenetic brain changes that may cause depression.
Staying in an emotionally or verbally abusive relationship can have long-lasting effects on your physical and mental health, including leading to chronic pain, depression, or anxiety. Read more about the effects on your health. You may also: Question your memory of events: “Did that really happen?” (See Gaslighting.)
Emotional abuse can involve any of the following: Verbal abuse: yelling at you, insulting you or swearing at you. Rejection: constantly rejecting your thoughts, ideas and opinions. Gaslighting: making you doubt your own feelings and thoughts, and even your sanity, by manipulating the truth.
When you're struggling, it can be hard to figure out how to heal from emotional abuse. You may feel hopeless, or you might believe that you'll never feel better. Although the path to healing can be challenging, it's important to remember that an abuse survivor can recover and even thrive.
Red Flags When You're In a Relationship With a Narcissist
Downplays your emotions. Uses manipulative tactics to “win” arguments. Love bombing, especially after a fight. Makes you second-guess yourself constantly.
Victims of narcissistic abuse develop coping mechanisms to survive. But once the abuse has ended, their coping mechanisms may turn maladaptive. Over-focusing on others' needs, failing to set boundaries, or doing anything in exchange for kindness may pave the way for maltreatment or abuse.
Nightmares, flashbacks, and intrusive thoughts. Hyper-awareness, vigilance, anger, and irritability. Misplaced sense of blame, low self-worth. Avoidance of certain situations or people or a sense of detachment.
Psychologist Dr Stephen Karpman coined the term in 60s to describe the interplay of the three dysfunctional roles: the victim (damsel in distress), persecutor (villain), and rescuer (hero). It might be an old idea, but it is one that still has plenty of currency.
Verbal abuse is the most common form of emotional abuse.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse in which a person or group causes someone to question their own sanity, memories, or perception of reality.