In a marriage with children, it may seem counterintuitive to not put the kids first, says psychologist Yvonne Thomas. "However, it's actually healthier to make your spouse the first priority." This is because it benefits all of your family members.
Putting your children second might seem counterintuitive, but science says your marriage should come first.
Luckily, you can keep your internal conflict to a minimum by putting your spouse first after you tie the knot. "By-and-large, barring a crisis, I would say that your partner should come first, and know that he or she is the top priority," Duffy says.
Yes. You made a vow to your spouse to honor and cherish them. This means you should show them the respect they deserve by valuing their privacy and opinions. This is why your spouse should come first.
While the health, safety, and emotional wellbeing of the kids are vital, sometimes you will need to put your partner first. Your kids may be less than impressed by this, but it actually demonstrates to them what a loving relationship looks like.
The key to moving the kids into the backseat, literally and figuratively in blended families, is to make your couple relationship the #1 priority in your stepfamily. Each parent must put that spouse/partner relationship at the very top because if that relationship fails, there is no family unit left to try to blend.
Blended families are hard on marriage
About 40 percent of first marriages — and 60 percent of second marriages — end in divorce. When both spouses have children from a previous marriage, the divorce rate is 70 percent.
Putting your partner first means his or her needs, feelings, and wellbeing take priority over other people or things. A “sense of we” forms as you maintain this priority on purpose each day. You protect your relationship from being destroyed or damaged. You tend to your connection so it feels good to you both.
Making your partner a priority simply means focusing on their needs and wants in a relationship. Make sure you listen to their thoughts and act on them accordingly. Make them feel heard and taken care of.
Giving just as much attention to your relationship with your spouse as you do your relationship with your children is crucial to the happiness and success of the entire family, argues Belinda Luscombe in an excerpt from the forthcoming book Marriageology: The Art and Science of Staying Together, which appeared in Time ...
Considering all things the Bible teaches that a wife's primary responsibility is to God first and then her husband and then children all others follow.
It shows honor and respect for your spouse.
When your husband or wife knows he or she comes before your parents, it creates a deeper marital bond. If a wife continually runs to her parents for counsel instead of first talking with her husband, it can create a feeling of distrust. The same with a husband.
The answer is your spouse – that's your first obligation. When you get married, you leave your parents. It doesn't mean you don't talk to them anymore (unless they're horrible), but you have to cater to the new dynamic. You're going to have a much stronger marriage if you become a loyal husband or wife.
Your mother is still your mother and she will always be important, but your life partner is who should come first. You can leave the words “forsaking all others and cleaving only unto them” out of the marriage ceremony, but the process remains the same. You are creating a new branch of the family.
A 2002 study found that two-thirds of unhappy adults who stayed together were happy five years later. They also found that those who divorced were no happier, on average, than those who stayed together. In other words, most people who are unhappily married—or cohabiting—end up happy if they stick at it.
They Rarely Text You Or Initiate Conversation First
"We understand that most people are busy but if you are going weeks without at least a phone call or a text message from someone, then that's a sign that you are not number one on the priority list," Temi Olly, Certified Relationship Coach & Speaker, tells Bustle.
Your spouse has to come first; always.
So when your kids move out, you and your spouse will either still have the great marriage you've built in spite of your kids, or you'll have to figure out what your marriage is now without them.
You're a priority when your partner recognizes your strength and knows you can stand up for yourself. 7. Puts love into action. It's easy to SAY you are a priority, but you'll know it's true when your partner makes sacrifices for you and demonstrates your importance through acts and deeds.
Your physical, mental, and emotional should always be your top priority.
Honesty is a top priority for most men. When it comes to relationships, men want to trust their partners completely. They also expect the trust to be reciprocated. A man cannot bear to be kept in the dark over any matter by his partner.
Then his woman. Then the children. These must be his unshakable priorities or else he'll be drifting helplessly through life, not being able to achieve anything at all.
Just as the Baby Boomers were married at much greater rates than younger generations, they have made headlines by pursuing divorce in staggering numbers. In recent years, more than 30 percent of divorces were made up of Baby Boomers going their separate ways.
Every family is unique, and so is its success rate. However, stepfamily studies suggest about 60 to 70 percent of marriages involving children from a previous marriage fail, a statistic reiterated by the Census Bureau, which found that divorce increases in relation to the number of times one marries.