Being married to a narcissist can affect your life in a variety of ways. It can impact your relationships, self-esteem, finances, and ability to be independent. Moreover, it can lead to negative effects on your mental and physical health.
To survive a narcissist you must have a healthy support network that surrounds and protects you. This can be in the form of a family member, friend, therapist, or somebody else who you know will have your back. These people are important because they will keep you grounded firmly in reality.
Here's when to break up with a narcissist: You're being physically abused. You're being sexual abused or coerced. Your partner is constantly monitoring you.
Narcissists are misogynists. They hold women in contempt, they loathe and fear them. They seek to torment and frustrate them (either by debasing them sexually – or by withholding sex from them). They harbor ambiguous feelings towards the sexual act.
Choosing To Stay With A Narcissist
Dr. Durvasula: There are so many reasons why people can't leave narcissistic relationships. Financial reasons, cultural reasons, they have children, religion, fear, anxiety, and that they still actually love the elements of this person, they want to be married.
Narcissistic partners act as if they are always right, that they know better and that their partner is wrong or incompetent. This often leaves the other person in the relationship either angry and trying to defend themselves or identifying with this negative self-image and feeling badly about themselves.
Narcissists may show you love and act in loving ways, but this tends to be conditional, in that displays of love depend on what you can give them in return. For people with NPD, relationships tend to be transactional. Love is not self-serving, proud, boastful, exploitative, or envious.
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
With a narcissistic spouse or narcissistic partners, you might experience emotional abuse, verbally abusive and general bad behavior, and/or the silent treatment. Narcissistic relationships can affect your self esteem because your partner most likely lacks empathy, is self centered, and makes you feel guilty often.
Your narcissistic spouse may not be able to support you or show genuine emotion. Any love or affection they show is often given only for their own benefit. It's possible that your spouse made you feel loved early in the relationship. They may even have made you feel like you were the most important person in the world.
At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.
A narcissist will avoid divorce because they will have to let go of the person they think they have full control over. They feel entitled to something other than what's best for everyone. When they hear compromise, they think “unfair”. They don't know the middle road, they don't accept concessions.
Fear of being alone – Narcissists are skilled at destroying their partner's social circles and relationships with family members. The prospect of leaving may equate to a feeling of being truly alone; Fear of reprisals – The narcissist may have created a culture of fear and anxiety in their partner's life.
The major finding of this study suggests that marriage to a narcissist worsens over time.
It's certainly possible to have a relationship with a narcissist, but it's going to be emotionally and psychologically exhausting. Narcissists drain all the life and spirit from their partner, using them as an emotional — and sometimes literal — punching bag.
People who are impressive in some way, either in their career, hobbies and talents, their friendship circles, or family. Someone who will make the narcissist feel good about themselves, through compliments or gestures.
Your relationship leaves you constantly feeling drained.
Even if you're not constantly fighting, that doesn't mean your relationship can't leave you feeling utterly depleted. If every second you spend with your spouse makes you feel emotionally and physically drained, that's one of the signs your marriage is over.
Summary: For most people, narcissism wanes as they age. A new study reports the magnitude of the decline of narcissistic traits is tied to specific career and personal relationship choices. However, this is not true for everyone.
A grandiose sense of self-importance. A preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love. A belief that he or she is special and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people or institutions. A need for excessive admiration.
Can a narcissist be faithful in a relationship? It's possible for a narcissist to be faithful in a relationship, but unlikely. Narcissists tend to prioritize their own needs and desires over their partner's and have few qualms about engaging in infidelity if it serves their own interests.
In fact, narcissists are often attracted to strong, confident, and self-assured women. While this may seem counterintuitive, it is important to realize that the narcissistic traits of grandiosity and confidence are really a mask for deep insecurity.
Threats of physical violence
While narcissistic abuse tends to focus on emotional manipulation, these abusers may still break things, hurt others (or threaten to do so), or inflict self-harm to punish or instill fear in a partner. Remember, narcissists want attention.
If a narcissist is interested in you, you might notice that they shower you with admiration and attention shortly after you meet them. They might be quick to say “I love you,” put you on a pedestal, and make grand romantic gestures.