Whether or not your child attends a funeral is entirely up to you. For many children, attending a funeral actually helps them move forward in their own grief process. However, as Dr. Kenneth Doka states, “One of the questions oft asked is whether, or at what age, children should attend funerals.
According to this study's findings, it benefited them in many ways. It allowed them to accept the death, say a final goodbye, and honor their life. The children recognized the meaning of the funeral and were glad they went and were a part of it. It also helped them with their healthy grieving process.
It might seem disrespectful not to attend a parent's funeral, but this is ultimately a personal choice. There is no obligation to attend a funeral, and you might find that you would like to say goodbye in your own way. If you were estranged from the parent, you may have already grieved their death in your own way.
Attending the funeral of a close friend or family member is almost always the right move. Unless there is some particular reason that you cannot attend, go to the funeral.
It's important to tell your child as soon as possible that their parent has died. This way your child can hear about the death from you. Talking with your child can help them understand, accept and cope with the death. It also sends the message that talking is good and all emotions are OK.
Many people worry that their children are too young to go to a funeral and won't understand what is happening. But most children have a full understanding of death by the time they are about 8-10 years old and many younger children will have enough understanding to go to the funeral.
Funerals are a way for friends and family to say their goodbyes, reminisce, or grieve, and ultimately find closure. Choosing whether to attend is at the discretion of each individual, family member. Whatever you choose, know that it isn't disrespectful to not go to a funeral for personal reasons.
Speaking at a memorial service is an honour. It gives you the privilege of paying respect to the person who has died, and of helping those who have gathered for the event. Speaking at your father's funeral is a special way of honouring him and the relationship you had with him.
It is not a selfish act to request not to have a funeral after you pass away. There are many reasons why you may not want to have a funeral and any of them are valid. You deserve to have any send-off that you wish for, so don't be afraid to share your last wishes with your family openly and honestly.
It's perfectly acceptable to not have a funeral. There's no legal requirement for you to have one — it's up to you how you'd like to be memorialized.
When in doubt, choose something neutral or solid colored. Avoid bright prints and fabrics. Nobody expects a toddler to wear a fancy outfit, so don't worry about making sure they're wearing their “best.” As long as they're comfortable and won't be a distraction, it's the perfect funeral outfit.
When attending a service, be on time and enter the house of worship or location where the funeral will be held as quietly as possible. If there are no ushers, remember that the seats closer to the front should be taken by very close friends, with acquaintances seating themselves in the middle or towards the rear.
What is appropriate clothing for a funeral? Traditionally, funeral etiquette suggests men and women wear black clothing that's conservative and respectful. Black or dark colours are most common, but some cultures expect mourners to wear a less traditional funeral colour.
Stealing anything from a deceased person or their family is obviously a no-go. Even “just a flower or two,” is also disrespectful.
Whatever the reason you can't attend, guilt is a normal feeling. But remember, you did not actually fail your loved one. Let the family know as soon as possible, and offer to help in another way. Say goodbye to your loved one on your own, to start the healing process.
Is it normal not to cry? It is perfectly normal not to cry when someone dies. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and everyone deals with loss in their own way. It doesn't mean that you don't care, that you are cold, or that you are broken in any way.
A standard funeral can be up to about 2 weeks after the date of death. If the body is cremated, the family can wait as long as they'd like, but most are done within a month at the latest. If the deceased is already buried or cremated, a memorial service can be held at any later date.
Speak slowly and pause often, to give them time to understand, and to give yourself time to manage your own feelings. Be empathetic and be honest with children of all ages, but make sure to be especially clear with young children and do not include euphemisms.
Close family and friends of the person who died will likely attend the visitation and funeral service. Others may attend both or may need to or prefer to attend one or the other but not both. Visitation may take place the day before the funeral, the evening before or even just hours before the funeral service.
Visions and Hallucinations
Visual or auditory hallucinations are often part of the dying experience. The appearance of family members or loved ones who have died is common. These visions are considered normal. The dying may turn their focus to “another world” and talk to people or see things that others do not see.
A conscious dying person can know if they are on the verge of dying. Some feel immense pain for hours before dying, while others die in seconds. This awareness of approaching death is most pronounced in people with terminal conditions such as cancer.