What Is Being Clingy? First, it's important to define clinginess. It's not just immaturity, though a person's emotional intelligence and maturity level definitely factor into how clingy they are. Clinginess is also not the same thing as spending a lot of time around your partner or wanting to see them all the time.
People who are immature often compare attention to self-worth. The more attention they receive, the more it boosts their self-esteem. One of the signs of immaturity in a woman (or anyone) is when they feel like they need to be in the spotlight everywhere they go. Another sign of an immature person is being clingy.
While clingy tendencies may have been “ok” in your previous relationship, being overly needy is generally considered a toxic dating habit.
A 2021 study found that clingy behavior is the biggest turn-off in romantic relationships. The survey of over 1,400 young adults in their twenties and thirties reported 78 difficulties they've experienced in relationships.
Immature love has a hard time with balance. The partners are either wrapped up in their common interests or intense sexual chemistry. They don't focus on a balance so much as giving in to any and all cravings — the relationship forms in a one-sided way that is hard to come back from.
Examples of Clinginess in Relationships
Calling your partner several times a day. Repeatedly messaging them throughout the day. Working yourself into a panic when they don't respond. Constantly stalking your partner's activities on social media.
“Clinginess can begin to cross the line from healthy to unhealthy when the relationship begins to take too much time and attention away from other aspects of your life,” explains Sullivan. “This can include neglecting friends and family and spending too much time in constant communication with your partner.
Clinginess can take a turn toward controlling behavior if power and wanting to gain the upper hand enters the picture. You may want your partner to fulfill specific expectations, and if they don't, it can intensify thoughts that they aren't doing what you need because they don't love you enough.
What is a clingy girlfriend? A clingy girlfriend will struggle to give you space to be an independent person outside of the relationship. She'll constantly seek your attention, and the amount of it she gets from you will have a profound impact on her mood, happiness, and state of mind.
It all depends on what your individual needs are. If you need him more than he is comfortable with, you are too needy to him. You would not be considered too needy to someone who enjoys or appreciates being needed to that extent. If he is dismissive or neglectful of your emotions, he is emotionally neglectful to you.
Signs of emotional childishness include emotional escalations, blaming, lies, and name-calling. Someone who is emotionally childish may also have poor impulse control, need to be the center of attention, or engage in bullying.
The Root Cause
More often than not, emotional immaturity arises because of either: An inability to communicate with others, which leaves them feeling misunderstood. A lack of self-control, and an inability to control their emotions. An inability to read a room or situation, which leaves them acting inappropriately.
An individual might hold on to a relationship even though it consistently makes them feel frightened or unloved. Moreover, relational trauma can also lead people to feel and act clingy even when they're in a loving, stable relationship. This may occur with no obvious reasons for being insecure.
“Often, it can be due to feelings of insecurity, self-doubt or anxiety about the future,” she said. “A lack of confidence in relationships can also contribute to clinginess.
Appearing emotionally attached but lacking empathy: An emotionally needy person can be very selfish because they only cling to others or appear to need them to make themselves feel better. Clinginess is not flattering. It is unstable and needy behavior.
You Constantly Need Reassurance That He Cares
Another sign of being clingy is that you constantly want him to tell you he loves you or misses you(if you're there yet in your relationship; otherwise you just want clues that he's into you).
The term “clingy” has undeniable negative undertones as it's often used to describe a partner who is perceived as overly dependent, jealous, obsessive, and suffocating. But despite this negative understanding of clinginess, it actually comes from a place of insecurity and wanting to love and be loved.
Brain Maturity Extends Well Beyond Teen Years : NPR. Brain Maturity Extends Well Beyond Teen Years Under most laws, young people are recognized as adults at age 18. But emerging science about brain development suggests that most people don't reach full maturity until the age 25.
In general, men and women cannot reach full maturity until their brains are fully developed at around age 25. However, some studies have shown that men do not fully mature until age 43… and that women reach maturity at age 32!
'The big three' adult skills
Arnett found that most people began to feel like an adult somewhere between the ages of 18 and 29: early in this period, he explains, very few people feel like adults, but by the end of it, almost everybody he asked replied yes, they did.
Lying, cheating, jealousy, and disrespect are signs of an unhealthy relationship. So is trying to control a partner. That includes: keeping track of where they are and who they hang out with.