Narcissistic personality disorder involves a pattern of self-centered, arrogant thinking and behavior, a lack of empathy and consideration for other people, and an excessive need for admiration. Others often describe people with NPD as cocky, manipulative, selfish, patronizing, and demanding.
Narcissists lack a positive, emotional connection to themselves, making it difficult for them to emotionally connect with others. Their undeveloped self and deficient inner resources require them to be dependent on others for validation. Rather than confidence, they actually fear that they're undesirable.
A narcissist will never feel empathy for others no matter how cruel he can be – there won't be any guilt, while a selfish spouse can still feel guilt and empathy. A narcissist feels entitled and superior, and that's it, and he'll make it clear that he won't and will never deal with people he thinks are lesser than him.
Narcissists hate strong people that are not afraid to set boundaries and let them know their behavior is not acceptable. Since they crave power and control and may use manipulation or other tactics to maintain it.
The cause is likely complex. Narcissistic personality disorder may be linked to: Environment — parent-child relationships with either too much adoration or too much criticism that don't match the child's actual experiences and achievements. Genetics — inherited characteristics, such as certain personality traits.
We demonstrate that narcissism in children is cultivated by parental overvaluation: parents believing their child to be more special and more entitled than others. In contrast, high self-esteem in children is cultivated by parental warmth: parents expressing affection and appreciation toward their child.
Most recent theories have focused on the link between narcissism and negative childhood experiences, such as physical or sexual violence, neglect, or rejection [10,11].
It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".
Narcissists' Greatest Fear
To narcissists, ordinary people (i.e., nearly everybody around them) aren't worthy of attention, so being ordinary would leave them unworthy of the spotlight and left to suffocate. Narcissists also need to feel special and superior to others.
In addition, narcissists are often grandiose when it comes to self-serving, unnecessary expenditures. They may splurge on a luxurious vacation and share many pics on social media. But, they'll also skimp on essentials like rent.
Narcissists tend to be incapable of something called "object constancy," which means they struggle to have positive feelings at the same time as negative ones. Once they are fired up for a fight, they can be incredibly cruel, because all they can comprehend in the moment are feelings of resentment and anger.
Bottom Line. Narcissists can sometimes be helpful and caring. However, more often than not, they only pretend to have these qualities. Moreover, even when they act giving and helping, they are not motivated by empathy because they severely lack it, and as a result, their help is often not very productive.
It is because of this that they may find it difficult to understand other people's feelings or perspectives, a self-centredness that can cause them to act selfishly and exploit others for their own gain. “As narcissists do not have empathy, they are not able to genuinely care or love you,” explains Davey.
When a narcissist ignores needs in a relationship, they do this to deliberately to set up their future self with a source of supply. Ignoring you means they win. Narcissists enjoy that you wish to discuss things with them. The greater your reaction to their obtuse behavior, the greater the supply for them.
If you are one who prioritizes engaging, safe communication, you can be thrown off guard by a narcissist's cold hearted mannerisms. At the base of their interactions is an "I don't care" attitude, and as Dr. Les Carter explains, it often has roots in passive aggressive anger.
Not all people with narcissism are unhappy, but many can't find contentment when they aren't the center of attention. They may seem unhappy or insecure unless they get their way and receive praise. However, when they're not happy, they may do whatever they can to disrupt your happiness.
Narcissists are highly sensitive to criticism or any perceived threat to their self-image, and they will go to great lengths to protect it. If you criticize them or challenge their dominance, you will trigger a defensive response.
Rejection
Rejection causes major narcissistic injury and is one of the top 10 things narcissists fear the most. They can't handle it, even if it's a tiny slight. Remember, they have a sense of entitlement and pride themselves on being the ones who reject and discard their victims.
According to Thomaes & Brummelman, the development of narcissism begins at around the ages of 7 or 8.
Narcissistic collapse occurs when a narcissist's ability to uphold their grandiose, confident image is threatened. As a result, they often become enraged, resulting in impulsivity, intense lashing out, or harm to others.
Experts estimate that up to 5% of people have NPD. Narcissism is one of 10 personality disorders. These disorders cause people to think, feel and behave in ways that hurt themselves or others. Signs of personality disorders usually appear in the late teen years and early adulthood.