A January 2023 survey of 2,200 Americans by the International Housewares Association for The New York Times revealed some startling statistics: One in five couples sleep, not just in separate beds, but in separate bedrooms, and of those couples who sleep apart, nearly two thirds do it every night.
“There's no rule out there saying couples have to sleep in the same bedroom,” says Dr. Peggy Loo, a New York State licensed psychologist and the director of Manhattan Therapy Collective. “What matters most is whether the arrangement is by mutual agreement or somehow in service of the relationship,” she explains.
Only about 10 percent of married couples sleep in separate bedrooms. Around 25 percent of American couples sleep in separate beds according to a recent National Sleep Foundation.
But, spouses sleeping in separate beds each night is actually a more common practice than you would think. According to a recent study by the International Housewares Association for The New York Times, one in five couples sleep in separate bedrooms, and almost two thirds of those do so every night.
Not sleeping together can create loneliness and lead to emotional and physical detachment. Bedtime for couples is crucial for cuddling and connecting intimately on an emotional and physical level.
Some common reasons couples sleep apart include snoring, restlessness, parasomnia, frequent trips to the bathroom, or incompatible sleep schedules.
People are taking to social media to talk about "sleep divorces," the idea of sleeping separately from your partner to get a better night's sleep. On TikTok, there are more than 355,000 views for the hashtag #sleepdivorce — and experts say there can be potential benefits.
How much sex should a couple have? Once a week is a common baseline, experts say. That statistic depends slightly on age: 40- and 50-year-olds tend to fall around that baseline, while 20- to 30-year olds tend to average around twice a week.
60% of people who sleep separately feel less stressed.
This doesn't mean they hate their partner; it could be because they sleep better than they did while sharing a bed. Sleep quality and stress are directly connected.
Although sleeping with your back to your partner and a space in between you might not seem too romantic, one study found it's the most common of all couple sleeping positions, likely because it's practical. Twenty-seven percent of the couples surveyed for the study identified this position as their primary one.
Snoring, body heat, restless legs, insomnia, different schedules and a yearning for personal space are just some of the reasons why some happy couples choose to sleep apart, whether in separate beds in the same room, or in separate rooms altogether. The arrangements can vary.
The physical advantages include lowered blood pressure, a stronger immune system, and reduced inflammation. Sleeping next to someone can also help promote deep REM sleep. Emotionally, sleeping next to someone means reduced anxiety, a sense of safety, improved sleep quality, and increased happiness.
In addition, know that there's nothing wrong with occasionally sleeping in separate rooms. You might be in a stressful period with work, have temporary insomnia, or simply don't want to go to bed angry after a quibble.
Bedtime couple intimate activities include cuddling, massaging, kissing, and making love. Sleeping habits are also essential for couples, and couples should lie down together whenever possible.
Research by scientists like Troxel has shown that sleeping together in bed for at least some portion of the night can have positive benefits for long-term relationship health (and even individual physical health).
Sharing a sleep schedule with your significant other helps build intimacy between you two. Not just sexual intimacy, but an emotional connection as well. Laying in bed together encourages communication between partners, whether it's discussing their worries or concerns, or just the day's events.
By the age of 45, people have sex an average of 60 times per year, or just over once a week. By age 65, most people have sex around 20 times per year, or less than one time every two weeks.
According to a research published in the Archives of Sexual Behaviour, a married couple should get intimate around 51 times a year, which turns out to be once a week, to lead a satisfying and happy life.
In the New England Journal of Medicine study, though just over a quarter of participants ages 75 to 85 said they had sex in the last year, more than half that group had sex at least two to three times a month. And almost one-quarter of those having sex were doing it once a week — or more.
10. The average length of a marriage in the US is 19.9 years. While the national average marriage length is just under 20 years, couples in Maine and West Virginia typically have the longest-lasting unions. The typical marriage in these lasts for 22.3 years.
1) Disconnection: Sleeping apart can contribute to distance in the relationship. It can become easier to avoid each other in situations where connection and physical contact can benefit in bringing and keeping the couple closer together. 2) Less Intimacy: Bedtime isn't just for sleeping!
According to various studies, the 4 most common causes of divorce are lack of commitment, infidelity or extramarital affairs, too much conflict and arguing, and lack of physical intimacy. The least common reasons are lack of shared interests and incompatibility between partners.
According to research, couples sleeping on king-size beds are more prone to divorce than those sleeping on mattresses of small or comfortable sizes. The main reason for this is the lack of physical intimacy between the partners.
The proclamation may have proved less than accurate, but for almost a century between the 1850s and 1950s, separate beds were seen as a healthier, more modern option for couples than the double, with Victorian doctors warning that sharing a bed would allow the weaker sleeper to drain the vitality of the stronger.