A "big hug" can vary, but for therapeutic benefits like stress relief and connection, psychologists suggest aiming for 6 to 20 seconds, as this duration triggers the release of oxytocin, the "love hormone," according to Sesame Workshop, Marriage.com, and Be More with Less. Shorter, casual hugs might last only 3-5 seconds, while meaningful hugs for loved ones can stretch longer, sometimes up to 30 seconds or more, depending on the bond, notes Quora and Reddit.
20 seconds is all you need
Both men and women in the hugging group showed lower stress levels: Having a supportive partner hug them for 20 seconds actually decreased stress.
The "4-8-12 hug rule," popularized by family therapist Virginia Satir, suggests humans need 4 hugs a day for survival, 8 for maintenance, and 12 for growth, emphasizing physical touch's importance for emotional and physiological well-being, though the numbers aren't strict science but a guideline for connection, with longer, meaningful hugs (around 20 seconds) being particularly beneficial for stress reduction.
Two friends have broken the record for the world's longest hug after a marathon embrace on London's South Bank. Joe Snape and Will Jarvis, both 27, locked arms for 36 hours, 36 minutes and 36 seconds after coming up with the ambitious idea in the pub.
Unwelcome hugs that include other unwelcome behaviors, such as massaging, patting, kissing, and ear whispering, would also be more severe than an unwelcome hug without those additional elements. “Unwelcome” refers to the receiver of the hug not being okay with the hug.
The 20-second hug rule suggests that holding someone in a hug for about 20 seconds triggers significant therapeutic benefits, primarily the release of oxytocin, the "love hormone," which reduces stress, lowers blood pressure, fosters bonding, and promotes feelings of safety and well-being, unlike shorter, fleeting hugs. This extended touch allows the nervous system to fully respond, activating pressure receptors that calm the brain, making it a simple yet powerful tool for emotional regulation and connection.
The first main finding of the study was that romantic partners clearly hugged much longer than platonic friends. While lovebirds hugged for 7.02 seconds on average, platonic friends only hugged for 2.88 seconds on average—a strong and statistically significant difference.
Endorphins can better be described as chemicals in the body that relieve feelings of pain and stress. Endorphins are also known to produce feelings of euphoria, happiness and calmness. So the more hugs you complete, the more endorphins released. The more the merrier.
Banissy and fellow researchers studied the length of an optimal hug and found that five to ten seconds is best. Prof. Banissy says: “Many of us know that it feels good to receive a hug, but we don't often stop and think about the other positive effects of hugging.
When a hug lasts at least 20 seconds, it's long enough to stimulate the release of oxytocin, often called the “cuddle hormone.” Oxytocin is released in response to soothing touch and promotes feelings of connection, trust, and emotional safety.
Are you getting enough hugs? Virginia Satir, a world-renowned family therapist, is famous for saying “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.”
The healing timeline of hugs:
A mere 10-second hug can help the body fight infections, ease depression, and reduce fatigue. Extend that to a 20-second hug, and the benefits extend to reducing the harmful effects of stress, relieving blood pressure, and promoting a healthy heart.
HUGGING STYLE: Hugging can reveal how you feel about someone, according to researchers at the MSH Medical School Hamburg, Germany. Platonic friends hug for 2.88 seconds on average, while romantic partners hug for an average of 7.02 seconds.
A person should aim to get 8-12 firm hugs a day, and hold them for just about 20 seconds each. If you don't want to hug another person, hugging your pet can be just as beneficial. Hugs lower your blood pressure and heart rate, while also improving cardiovascular function.
I would say in general, hugging at minimum is appropriate after a first date, and kissing is normally fine too if it is going well and you can find an appropriate time and place.
A hug at the waist is indeed one of the most romantic and intimate hugs! A hug at the waist brings one partner below the shoulders of the other, down and closer to the stomach during this embrace.
It may seem brief, but studies show that 20 seconds is enough to trigger the release of oxytocin, endorphins, and serotonin, creating a noticeable shift in mood and connection. Be Present – During the hug, be fully present. Focus on the sensation of the hug and the physical closeness with your partner.
The average length of a hug between two people is 3 seconds. But the researchers have discovered something fantastic. When a hug lasts 20 seconds, there is a therapeutic effect on the body and mind. The reason is that a sincere embrace produces a hormone called "oxytocin", also known as the love hormone.
But it does provide some rough guidelines as to how soon may be too soon to make long-term commitments and how long may be too long to stick with a relationship. Each of the three numbers—three, six, and nine—stands for the month that a different common stage of a relationship tends to end.
5: Our Own Needs, Emotions and Desires.
The highest level of intimacy, requires the greatest amount of trust in our relationship. It is only when we feel truly safe with somebody, that we become willing to share the deepest core of who we are. It's up close and personal.
At the heart of this connection is the way hugs influence our emotional state. When we hug, our bodies release endorphins and oxytocin, hormones that generate feelings of happiness, reduce stress, and foster a sense of calm and safety.
“If it's too brief, people may not necessarily feel the benefits in terms of emotional closeness and things like that, but equally, if it's too long it can start to feel uncomfortable,” says Banissy. “Five to ten seconds appears to be optimal.”
Sometimes, when we're feeling down, all we need is a hug. Believe it or not, there's some science behind this! Hugging has been shown to release oxytocin, a hormone that promotes feelings of love and bonding. This, in turn, can help reduce stress and anxiety and improve overall well-being.