They may turn the tables As a common coping mechanism, you can also expect a cheater to turn the tables and put the spotlight on you. “When all else fails, you can expect them to get very critical of you. They'll shift the blame on you, criticizing every single conversation you have with the opposite sex.
Cheaters often react to an accusation of cheating with denial, showing no guilt signs. This can be a simple 'no' or more of a statement of unwillingness to accept the accusation. Whatever the form, denial is likely to be one of the first responses to allegations of cheating.
Once the excitement and the newness of the person they have cheated with wears off, they feel an entire gamut of emotions. Shame, guilt, even anxiety, and most importantly the fear of losing their beloved. Cheaters start to feel ashamed, they begin to fear being judged by the people they love and value most.
Innocent people can react to false accusations of cheating can in a variety of ways. Common reactions include surprise and disbelief, denial of the accusation, anger and frustration, a desire to prove their innocence, and a willingness to cooperate with any efforts to investigate the situation.
When a narcissist is caught cheating and lying, they often make up a heap of more lies to convince you that they've been nothing but faithful. Even if you have evidence of cheating, they're likely to deny everything and even project their infidelity onto you.
An inability to bear the truth
Attorney Rebecca Zung writes about what happens when you catch a narcissist in a lie. They will either deny, deflect, devalue, and/or dismiss you.
If they feel that someone closes in on their lies and raises questions, liars tend to get angry and defensive. Even if no one is outright accusing them, they have an overblown reaction due to their fear of being caught. It also acts as a distraction and helps take the spotlight off their lies.
He won't want to bring it up or talk about whatever he did because he hopes you will forget about it. On the other hand, if he's done something bad and now he feels uncomfortable being around you because of all that guilt, he may lash out in other ways. He may be ruder, he may pick more fights, etc.
A cheater, however, may get defensive because you've blown their cover, says Milrad: “It is very common for cheaters to deflect responsibility and get irritated by your questions. They often try and shut you down and even criticize you for being too controlling or suspicious.”
Suspicious Actions And Behaviors
Hiding the phone, shutting down the computer, discussing friends without giving names, or just being secretive after an affair is going to be a huge trigger. Any actions or behaviors, even flirting, can be an emotional trigger.
Signs that your partner might be lying about cheating include changes in their behavior, changes in communication, less time spent at home, avoiding you, acting indifferent toward you, changes in your sex life, and increased technology use.
Many people who cheat on their partners use secret messaging apps, like Signal, which allow them to chat with others discreetly. Depending on the cheating your partner is engaging in, whether sexual, emotional, or otherwise, there are different apps they might use to cheat or hide their behavior.
Unfortunately, that's still a bad sign, because this kind of jealousy and insecurity is common in people who cheat. In interviews, some people reported cheating on their partners as revenge, because they believed their partners had cheated first.
Strong partners
Most cheaters are afraid of being alone. Contradictory by nature, a cheating mate is actually terrified of his or her partner leaving. A strong spouse who is willing to walk away and have a life outside of the relationship is a scary scenario for an adulterer.
Defensiveness. One of the first things you would notice about a cheating partner is their tendency to be touchy and excessively defensive about the slightest matters in the relationship. If they feel pressured, they may respond to their partner with violence or different forms of manipulation.
They will avoid using pronouns like "I," "mine" and "myself." They may use oddly phrased statements in the third person. For example, they may say, "You don't bill hours that you didn't work," instead of saying, "I don't bill hours I didn't work." Or they'll say, "The vase got broken," instead of "I broke the vase."
According to Andrew Pickett, trial attorney at Andrew Pickett Law, PLLC, "an increase in filler words such as 'uh' and 'um,' and a greater use of non-specific language" might mean you're being fed a falsehood. These words give the speaker more time to think and show low confidence in what they have to say.
They Have Grandiose Fantasies
On the outside, a person with covert narcissism will seem quiet, meek, and self-critical. However, on the inside, they feel an intense sense of specialness. Despite their jealousy, envy, and apparent shyness, covert narcissists will believe they are better than everyone else.