Confront the source of the rumor directly. Stay calm and collected while doing this to avoid causing any more drama. Say something polite yet direct, like: "Hey. I want you to know that I don't appreciate the things you've been saying about me. Please stop." Then, just walk away—this person doesn't deserve your time.
Thus far, research has, for example, shown that people were motivated to engage in gossip to bond with their group members, to entertain themselves, to exchange information, to vent emotions, and to maintain social order. These motives can be argued to be quite harmless, and even based on constructive tendencies.
Gossiping is in Our Genes
As social creatures, we focus a lot of our attention on other people and that comes through in what we talk about. So, chances are, people are talking about you behind your back but it's not necessarily a bad thing.
Consider addressing the instigator in private to express your displeasure. Approach your gossiping coworker in a non-confrontational way and politely but firmly ask them to not talk any further about you or whoever is the target of their gossip.
Ignore the gossip (or change the subject)
If someone is gossiping about others to you, refuse to engage with them. As soon as they start to speak negatively about someone else, shut down the conversation in its tracks by saying, “I have absolutely no opinion, and this is none of my business.”
For instance, gossip and rumors can destroy a person's self-confidence and affect their self-esteem. 1 It also can lead to depression, suicidal thoughts, eating disorders, anxiety, and a host of other issues.
Sometimes, the main reason behind gossiping is envy and jealousy. When someone is envious of someone else, he might gossip about him in order to let people hate him.
Be cordial, but refuse to get close to gossipers. Don't tell them anything personal about you, which could later serve as ammo for even more gossip. Chatting is not the only way gossipers can get personal information. If you suspect that they might gossip, don't give them your user name on social media.
Gossiping is a toxic behavior that breeds distrust and bitterness, so steer clear and avoid it. Before you share a hurtful story or critical thoughts, ask yourself why you are sharing these things with this particular person. Consider what is gained versus what is lost by gossiping.
Gossip typically centers on the negative aspects of a person's personal appearance, personal achievements, or personal behaviors. A less benign form of gossip is when people discuss information about celebrities or other people highlighted in tabloids or social media.
You share embarrassing or personal information about others for no reason other than shock value or to diminish them in the eyes of others. 10. You justify your gossip by claiming you are "helping" others see a person for "who they really are," although if someone did the same to you you'd scream "foul."
Synonyms of speak ill of (verb slander, defame)
besmirch. denigrate. disparage.
Sometimes people talk behind your back because they're afraid or intimidated by you. They may be jealous of you or feel inferior to you. If the people talking behind your back feel that way about you, they may be afraid that you'll take away something they want or that you'll talk about them behind their backs.
Other forms: innuendoes; innuendos. Speaking in innuendo is when you say something indirectly — often of a hurtful or sexual nature. Innuendo in Latin means "to point to" or "nod to." When you refer to something indirectly, you point at it without mentioning it, making an innuendo.
Gossiping can also bring on exhaustion, anxiety, or depression. Experts also warn that gossiping can cause long-term physical and mental issues like panic attacks, guilt, and in extreme cases, post-traumatic stress disorder.
Say something positive about the person being attacked. Voicing something complimentary about the person will help take the wind out of the rumor's sails. It can also be a tactful way to discourage the sharing of gossip in general. Keep your private life private.
Things You Should Know
Talk to the person who spread the rumor, and let them know you don't appreciate what they're saying about you. Ignore the gossip as best you can, and continue on with your usual routine. Remember that gossip says more about the other person than it does about you.
Establish boundaries
Setting limits is the first step in managing a toxic coworker and ensuring their behavior doesn't affect your mood or work performance. Try to distance yourself from your colleague when they engage in conduct like gossiping, micromanaging and harassment.
Gossip comes from the Old English word god-sibb, or godparent. It was a term given to a woman's close female friend after the birth of her child, a word reflecting the powerful bond between them. But somewhere along the way, it gained a bad connotation.